What’s the difference between a violin and a viola?
The viola burns longer.
Why didn't the drummer play?
Because he got a percussion.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite instrument? A small skin flute.
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.
What's a skeleton's favourite instrument?
A Trombone.
I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a fret.
A drum rolled down a hill. Ba-dum-tsssh!
What does a tuna, piano, and a tub of glue have in common?
You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
But what about the glue? said Bob I. I knew you would get stuck on that!
What kind of trumpet are you playing?
An "Donald Trumpet"!
What instrument do orphans play?
The sax alone.
Someone asked me what the worst mistake you could make while being at work was, and I replied, "Being a doctor and mixing up the oral and rectal thermometers."
How do clarinet players play a song?
They reed their music.
You need to play a B flat, not a C sharp, you just got band!
Make like a drum and beat it!
What's a skeleton's favorite instrument?
A tromboner.
I was at a concert in the front row, and I shouted something to the band's guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded: "I'm going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!"
And I replied: "Is that a death fret?"
Why did the guitar teacher get arrested? For fingering the minor.
Sans: What am I using?
A trom-bone!
What do you call it if you find an old organ keyboard on the side of the road?
Organ harvesting.
What do you call two Hispanics with Parkinson's disease?
Maracas.
