INS jokes
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One says to the other, "I blew like 20 bucks in there!"
What do you call a smart person in America?
A tourist.
Q: What do you call a man in a wheelchair?
A: Disabled.
Why can’t Jesus be born in West Virginia?
Because they couldn’t find three wise men or a virgin.
I like my women how I like my wine. 14 years aged and locked in a cellar.
Roses are red, violets are blue, there are kids in my basement, you'll be there soon.
Despite my devilish attitude, I have the heart of a small boy.
I keep it in a jar on my desk.
Roses are red, violets are violet.
My grandad died in 9/11. He was a good pilot.
In Soviet Russia, gay sex gets you arrested.
In America, getting arrested gets you gay sex.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and Eminem? Eminem was never proven to beat his wife in court, but Johnny Depp was.
Helen Keller fell down a well. She screamed and screamed until she was blue in the hands.
Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, "Who created the Earth?" And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, "MY GOD!" And the teacher says, "Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth." Sally sits down.
Then, the teacher asks, "Where do you go after you live a good life?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, "HEAVENS TO BETSY!" And the teacher says, "Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life." Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around.
And then, the teacher asks the class, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I'm gonna lose it!" And the teacher faints.
At least Africans don't have to worry about food critics.
Why can't an orphan go to McDonald's? There's no point in the words "happy meal."
I was beefing with a dude in a wheelchair, so I took his wheelchair and threw it across the street and told him, "Walk it off, you will be fine."
A pun walked into a room and killed ten people. Pun in, ten dead.
What do you call a prostitute with a major in math?
The thot that counts.
What do Michael Jackson and the Captain from the Spongebob theme song have in common? They both say "are you ready kids?"
How Chinese is COVID? About the same as those red MAGA hats made in China.
The other day I took my Grandma to one of those fish spas where the little fish eat your dead skin. It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.