INS jokes
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.
What do orphans and TVs have in common?
At least one of them has a home.
When the quiet kid lost a game of basketball and reaches into his bag,
other people in the gym: "Oh shit this nigga bout to shoot."
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
Neither can see their parents.
Have you heard the new pickup line in a gay bar?
Can I push your stool in for ya?
Me telling my parents I'm depressed: my parents, "No, you're just a little stressed and want attention, am I right?" My depression worsening, me: "Yeah, you're totally right mom..." Me in my head making a plan to commit suicide.....
How do you circumcise a hillbilly? You kick his sister in the jaw.
Why was Jesus not good at Basketball?
Because he died in the Cross 😈
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
Man: What's up?
Me: I'm annoyed.
Man: Why?
Me: I stole my gf's heart.
Man: So why are you annoyed?
Me: Everyone else in the surgery room gave me weird looks.
Why were the cherries 🍒 crying?
Because their parents were in a jam.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.
Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?
A: A suicide bomber.
Q: What season can an orphan see their family tree?
A: Fall.
If you don't get it, in the fall trees have no leaves, there [are] just empty branches, like an orphan's tree.
THIS IS A RHYME
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said you know you wanna.
Jill said yes as he grabbed her dress,
and they had a little fun.
Jill forgot her pills so now they have a son.
The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."
As the coronavirus pandemic strengthens...
Trump - "Quick, inject yourselves with bleach!"
Also Trump - "I order everyone in America to wear a face mask except for me!"
What’s the best song to play when visiting Africa?
"Have You Ever Seen the Rain?"
Iran? More like tin can, cause we’re going to kick their teeth in, am I right?