INS jokes

The people in the World Trade Center ordered two pepperoni, but got two planes.

Being gay must be a pain in the ass.

Credit to omnom.

Roses are red, violets are blue, in the middle of the day, give me money, you!

What does "off-limits" have in common with dead people? They can’t see their family.

How do you stop a school shooter from killing you?

Tell him you don’t believe in dog.

In Ukraine, there was a massive wake-up call by Russia. But for some, the results were the opposite.

I was trying to tell some people here to stop, but then I found out that the S was covered in blood from me assaulting someone.

When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, I said: "Hey, can I borrow that?"

He says "yes." Me, over here, walking to the cashier and saying: "Goodbye!" He screams: "Have mercy!"

I say: "No, not to you, to me. Say goodbye." He says: "No, don't shoot yourself!" It was too late.

Why are all the emos banned from Six Flags?

Because they keep cutting in line.

Teacher: Ok kids, time to go home.

The orphan: What is home?

Teacher: Here, I have somewhere for you.

*puts in trash can*

Doctor, Doctor, I discovered one of the base pairs in my genetic code is erroneously a stop codon?

Nonsense! That shouldn't be happening!

One time Little Johnny saw someone in his yard tying a rope to a tree, and he moved the stool and the tree broke. Little Johnny screamed, "HAHA! You're skinny enough to break the tree!"

What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

They can't see their parents.

I read the Brothers Grimm books, then I see a black figure reaping about.

I realized someone has died, but I don't do anything about it. I continue to read, and that's when I realized that I was one of the characters, in which at the end, dies.

Check out my new song. It’s called “Nlggas in the hood,” and it’s really good, so go listen.

Why is an orphan into worshiping Satan?

'Cause they get to call someone "master" and be freaky.

Who else liked the part in Morbius when he said his catchphrase "IT'S MORBIN' TIME" and MORBED over everyone? In my theater we had a standing ovation!

I saw some kids bullying a kid in a wheelchair. I grabbed the kid, pushed him down the stairs, and said, "GTA physics."

Your hairline is so bad that it turned Wonder Woman into Failure Man.

I saw a kid in a wheelchair, and he was getting bullied. I said, "Stand up for yourself!"