INS jokes

Your forehead is so big you can smoke a cigar in the rain.

Your hairline is so bad that they used it as trenches in the World War.

A friend asked what an acorn is.

I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”

What's common in vampires and American kids?

They both don't get old.

Did you know emos are the highest jumpers? Some of them are still in the air.

What do you call an orphan with no legs in an adoption center?

Answer: Who cares?

My dad died in the attacks. He was the best pilot Pakistan has ever seen, Allahu Akbar!

What does an orphan and a banana have in common? They both get split up.

Chuck Norris once won a race against Usain Bolt, running in the opposite direction around the track, blindfolded, on one foot.

I jump and jump if you put bread in me too many times. What am I? A toaster.

What’s the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?

Slicker hair back she looks 15.

MISSING!! MISSING!! ⚠️⚠️

Name: Kylian Fraudbappe Missing: 28/6/2021 vs Switzerland Characteristics: Disappearing in big games + Diving + always ranting "give me penalty".

Possible Locations: Penalty Spot, Parc des Princes, Paris.

Last seen: Manuel Akanji’s back pocket.

Yeah, Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah. Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad, I know, yeah, I'm sad, I know, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah. Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah.

I gave her everything. She took my heart and left me lonely. I think broken heart's contagious. I won't fix, I'd rather weep. I'm lost then I'm found. But it's torture bein' in love. I love when you're around. But I f**kin' hate when you leave. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah. Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah. Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah. Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah. Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah.

My dad died in 9/11... He was the best pilot I know.

What is it called when someone is a wheel chair and in a fire?

Answer: Hot wheels...

What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?

Slick her hair, she looks 15.

I was in Portugal enjoying my lunch when I saw a man choking! I wanted to save him, but a local stopped me. “That’s Penandes, he always chokes when it matters most and ghosts in big games.” True enough, Penandes’ Ghost emerged from his body! Poor Penandes, may he get well soon!

I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.

I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"

She said, "She was a little tardy."

I asked her, "I thought they all were."

Dad: "Honey, I'll be right back. I need to get some papers."

Me: "Okay." *Falls asleep.*

*Wakes up in an adoption center.*

Damn, it was those kind of papers.

Men and depression have something in common; they’re always talking.