INS jokes
Sonic Boom in my ass.
Q: What do you call a dog that stepped in its own shit?
A: I don't know.
I have WWII in my blood since my great-grandfather killed Hitler.
Did you know victims of 9/11 are fast readers?
They went down 100 stories in 4 seconds.
Have you ever stepped foot in Stephen Hawking's house? 'Cause he hasn't either.
What is red and white and goes 200 mph?
A baby in a blender.
Just a pickup line.
"Ayo, bbg, are you Maria? 'Cause you can sure as hell count ME in."
Oliver Tree just died in a helicopter crash?
He doesn't have to worry about that because, according to him, life goes onionionionionionionionionionion.
What would Hitler do if he was in Minecraft?
Mien.
Why is Afghanistan good at chess? They take the rooks out fast.
What is the biggest fear of an American soldier taking a piss in a bush during the Vietnam war? His manhood will be chopped off.
Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff?
Neither did I until I found his Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment.
Okay so not a joke but like- There's a fucking noose in my school gym.
So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.
About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."
There was a man in a tower, and the other man thought it was a girl, so he said, "Let down your long hair." He said, "OK, I will let my big, super long, hairy penis down for you to climb and suck." Then the other man said, "If you have such a long dick, suck it yourself. See ya, b*tch."
Are you a bowling ball? Because I want to stick 3 fingers in you.
Why did the rapper become a fisherman?
Because he wanted to reel in the BEST HOOKS.
You are so ugly, when you looked in the mirror your reflection walked away.
The other day, my best friend flipped off the table in class. I thought it was flipping amazing!
What has 2 arms but no legs?
A crippled woman with no more meaning in her life.
You know how 6 is afraid of 7 because 7 8 9? Well, 10 is afraid because he was in the middle of 9/11.