INS jokes
Women have eggs and milk in them...
And they say that they don't belong in the kitchen.
Two atoms are walking down the street, and they run into each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I’m positive!"
Do you want to give your life to God and be in Heaven?
1273. Depression got the best of me. I'm gonna cry in my room now.
Q. If a pedophile, necrophile, and a guy who is into incest are all sitting in a car, who's driving?
A. A police officer.
Hey, can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives you two nights in a row.
what's worse than a baby in a trash can? A baby in two trash cans.
New business idea: let's put a KFC in Africa and a watermelon shop.
How do the men with bisexual tendencies that are members in the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses have sex with other men without being disfellowshiped in the Jehovah's Witnesses Church?
Anonymous sex at a glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar.
Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.
What do orphans and dinosaurs have in common?
Their parents are extinct.
What does Sonic say when he doesn't want to get caught fucking in public?
Gotta Go Fast!
What do you call a disabled person in a sauna?
Steamed veggies!
How many emissions does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
Voting is like doing a group project in school.
I did my part, but I’m worried the rest of you are going to fuck this up.
Yo mama was so fat, the Earth was flat before they put your mama in a grave.
What's funny is that I am typing this in the middle of a document... WAIT JENGA!!!!!!!
There were two guys in an asylum. One was named Kenny, and the other was Bob. The nurse went down the hall and saw Kenny acting like he was packing his bags. The nurse said, “What are you doin', Kenny?” Kenny said, “Going to Florida for the week.” The nurse said, “Alright, see ya when you get back.”
Next day, the nurse went down the hall again and saw Kenny lying down acting like he was holding a wine glass. The nurse said, “What are you doing, Kenny?” Kenny said, “I am at the beach.” The nurse said, “Oh, I forgot you're in Florida for the week, see ya when you get back.” Bob's room was across the hall. The nurse went further down the hall and saw Bob on his bed jerking off. The nurse said, “Goddamnit, Bob, what are you doing?” Bob said, “Shhh, I am fucking Kenny's wife right now, he is in Florida for the week.”
What does my dad and the Twin Towers have in common? They used to be with us, now it's just a sensitive topic.
Period: Guess who’s back... back again...
Me: Ugh, can we not do this today?
Period: I can come back in 9 months?
Me: Keep fucking singing.