INS jokes
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire.
Now we call him hot wheels.
Why can't orphans get 5 stars in GTA?
Because they're not wanted.
How many beans are there in Irish chili?
Answer: 239
Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine?
Answer: (spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more, it'd be "two farty."
The people in the tower ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was a plane.
Why can't orphans be in charge of making web pages?
Because they can't add a home page.
She’s got 20 dudes in her DMs telling her she is pretty. Stand out, call her ugly.
Two nuns in a bathtub.
One nun asks, "Where's the soap?"
The other nun says, "It sure does."
There's 3 words in important: I'm, port, ant.
What's the good thing about child perverts?
They drive slow in a school zone.
Y'all, these 9/11 jokes ain't funny. I ordered a plain pizza in the Twin Towers.
Why was 10 scared because it was in the middle of 9/11?
My friend said, "Where is the trash?" I said, "Look in the mirror, there is the trash."
Who are the fastest readers?
911, they went through 110 stories in 8 seconds.
What do depression and suicide have in common?
Nothing, they're both hanging.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common? I fucking hate their whiny asses and beat them up.
You're so fat that when you went sunbathing at the beach, Greenpeace came along and pushed you back in the ocean.
If you execute someone in ventricular fibrillation in the electric chair, will they come back to life once and then die?
Q: What do Satan and a priest have in common?
A: They both want Anthony's neck.
What do you call two emos in a chemistry lab?
My Chemical Romance.
Why did the teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can't get even.