INS jokes

Farmer's Wife: Honey, where are the cows?

Farmer: Up in the mountains grazing.

Farmer's Wife: Why?

Farmer: I don't know, but the steaks have never been higher.

Wacko Jacko bleached his skin, lit his head on fire, slept in a chamber, abused his pet monkey, built an amusement park in his own backyard, had toys as decor for his home, slept with little boys, raped little boys. Jacko was Florida Man before Florida Man.

Q: Why did the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz win an award?

A: Because he was outstanding in his field.

I pulled my kid out of school after a woke teacher taught my six-year-old about pronouns! Yesterday, it was "he/she," today, "they/it," tomorrow, "I/you/we!"

Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.

In reality, I like killing myself.

First Date: HE: "I work with animals every day!" SHE: "Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?" HE: "I’m a butcher." SHE: "Perfect! I work with humans, I just kill them by cutting them up!"

HE: "So it's you in the newspaper?" SHE: "Yes, it was, wanna be next?" HE: "No!"

Did you know that graveyards are the most popular place in the world? Yeah, people are just DYING to get in there...

Sorry for this Pick Up Line.

Are you a building? Because I rate you 9/11, so let me put my plane in and let kids fall out.

What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?

One's got hope in her soul, the other's got soap in her hole.

Why do people keep saying, "Why did the toilet paper not cross?" Because it got stuck in the crack, because it got stuck in their crack.

SCP-1540 transforms in-front of a d-class:

D-class: Whoa dude, you’re a wolf!

SCP-1540: A am a were.

What's worse than locking your keys in the car in front of an abortion clinic?

Having to go back inside and ask to borrow a hanger.

In what ways do nuns and hoes have something in common?

They both worship on their knees. They are both creatures of habit. They both take vows of poverty and obedience. Once chosen, neither can leave the life. They both swallow their hosts.

Top 1 best football player 🏈 in the world.

“The guy who tackles the Make-A-Wish kid!”

In prison, they called me sweet cheeks.

What do you call black people in pool?

Coco Pops.

I pushed the kid in a wheelchair into fire... I called him "HOT WHEELS".

You might be innocent, but if you carry a large sum of cash in public, the cops won’t believe that.

Why was the depressed man happy in food-tech?

He got to cut himself.

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