INS jokes
Yo momma so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down!
Yo mama's so stupid, she put airbags on her computer in case it crashed.
A woman was in the Twin Towers. She orders a pepperoni pizza but got a plane pizza.
Me: Ice woman diary: a witch's tin key.
Other: What? You said, "I swim in diarrhea, which is stinky?"
Q: What do you call a girl walking down a street?
A: Lost, she's supposed to be in the kitchen.
Why is there only a glory hole in the handicapped stall in some public men's restrooms?
Because a gay man that is not physically handicapped can't receive a blow job from a gay man that is physically handicapped under the handicapped stall.
Did you hear about the "Funny Doctor"?
He'll have you in "Stitches"!
Did you know the Titanic sank in water?
Titanic 1, Africa 0.
What do pears and emo kids have in common?
They both be hanging.
What do children with cancer and Russian soldiers have in common? Their life doesn't last long.
I killed a man in '94.
I kicked a ball at a kid in a wheelchair and screamed, "Rocket League!"
Your mama is so fat that when she went to run in a yellow jumpsuit, the kids thought they missed the school bus.
Why do cops never put orphans in jail?
Because they aren't wanted.
What's the similarities between the New York Jets and the World Trade Center?
They both fall in September.
What do you call Panera bread that has been weathered and eventually gathered and via cementation and pressure, it becomes a layer of different materials and is also one of the most common types of rock in the sea?
Panera Sed!
What does a "Smart Russian" and a "Unicorn" have in common?
Answer: Non-existence!
Math Teacher: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"
Student: "A drinking problem."
Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
When people say they get ho's: You don't get no ho's, the only ho's you get is in yo draws.