INS jokes
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
Because it has a silent “p.”
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
Why do golfers bring an extra pair of socks? In case they get a hole in one.
What do you call a cow in a moving van?
A: A mooving cow.
I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.
Why did the man sit on his porch and bark at the postman when he came?
Because his dog had a sore throat!
Life is a bitch, and people make it worse.
This thing that I'm in ("am") is a forsaken curse (beta).
I’ll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I’m a baker’s man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I’ll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you’re now worthless to me!
I got pranked so many times. Once I saw two wheels rolling down the street. I heard this noise. I looked behind me. There's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming, "HELP! I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE!" but I walked away. I knew it was a prank.
What do depressed teenagers and fruits have in common?
They both hang by something.
Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his mom was in a jam!
There's a Mexican, Brazilian, and Cuban in a S60. Who's driving?
What does a sex offender that is a lesbian have in common with a sex offender that is a feminist?
They only performed cunnilingus on girls under 18 years old.
Why were the World Trade Center so mad? Because they ordered 3 pizzas, but 2 came in plane and 1 went to the wrong address.
What do you call two AI systems that are in love with each other? Member of chat LGBT.
What was the most useful tool in the 17th century?
Slaves.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair that lives in Africa?
Dry Vegetable.
Yo mama so fat that she walked in front of the TV, and I missed a whole episode of iCarly.
What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror?
"Halloumi, who's the tastiest of them all?"
What do you call a terrorist in a bathtub?
Bathbomb.