INS jokes
What do you call a terrorist in a bathtub?
Bathbomb.
Why do orphans sleep in a double bed?
Because their parents aren't!
So I got my brother a jumping castle for his birthday. That bitch cried in his wheelchair.
I'm bored. If you want to friend me in Roblox, my username is Talitha95g and my nickname is talithafromamirica.
Dad: No, Timmy, you don't have to worry, there is no monster sleeping under your bed, it sleeps every night in the bed next to me.
Your mama is so fat, when I think of her in my head, she just broke my neck.
I told my kids to smile with the monkeys in the open zoo.
They never got together at all.
What do you and orphans have in common?
Nobody loves you.
What do Hiroshima and Herobrine have in common?
They're not heroes.
A girl walks up to her blind friend who she had not seen in a while and says: "Long time no see!"
Why is my sister so annoying? Because put your own thing in.
Little boy: Momma?
Mom: Yes, my dear.
Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's.
Mom: Why!?
Little boy: Just to see if their ice cream machine is actually broken.
Why is it always cold in the hospital?
To keep the vegetables fresh.
What's the difference between outlaws and in-laws?
Outlaws are wanted :)
Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!
All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.
I'm in a wheelchair, right, so I've tried everything but one stand up.
It didn't work.
Your mom is so stupid, she got lost in Bed Bath & Beyond and slept on the floor.
Someone threatened to break into my house, but I am in a wheelchair. I said sure, and I moved everything upstairs and sat on the stairs so he couldn’t steal anything.
What does an orphan have in common with an 80-year-old woman? Their parents will never come back.
Why can't an orphan be in a relationship?
They have no one to call "daddy."