INS jokes
The greatest playwright in history found he couldn’t use lances. He could only use "Shake-spears."
What does the "f" in "orphan" stand for? Family, but there's no "f".
What’s the first thing you should do if an epileptic is having a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw in your dirty laundry!
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake everyday. He had no hands or legs.
One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay.
He replied, "No." The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?" The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever." So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked. "No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before." The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?" The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."
The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just Juan.
I'm in the alagba association. Call 666-666-666 to join the gang. It's free and free kills duidui.
"Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital." "Aaron, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that."
A boy's hairline is always in the back of his head, and its shape is like a check mark.
An Asian man walks into a bar in Australia. The bartender says to him “why are you here? Get back in that wing wong country.”
The Asian man says “I’m here traveling and now I’m gonna attack you with my 40 gallons of fried rice I’ve had in my pocket since wa dinowar wages. #wingwong”
Why do emo kids sneak up on their Vietnamese grandfathers? Because they hope the war experience kicks in.
A priest walks into a wine store.
"Do you have any 10-year-olds?" Seller: "What the f- Oh, you meant 10-year-old wine." Priest: "I said what I said."
A Sunday school teacher asked her children on the way to service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
How to give a good hand job?
Bop it. Pull it. Twist it. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. You put your left hand in. You put your left hand out. You put your left hand in and shake it all about.
None of you ever touch my penis.
I know a lot of people hate tapeworms, but they will always have a special place in my heart.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I have a gun,
GET IN THE VAN!!
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Get in the van, or I'll kill you.
What do you call a Terrorist in a wheel chair?
RCXD in bound
What do 9-11 and a fighter have in common? They both have a one-two combo.
If people who live in Canada are Canadians, I mean if they drink Fanta, they’re fantastic.
There are 3 men: an American, a French, and an Italian who have to take a trip and take the plane.
The American puts his hand out the window and says: "We are in America, I touched the Statue of Liberty." The French says: "We are in France, I touched the Eiffel Tower." The Italian says: "We are in Italy, I touched the garbage!"