INS jokes
What do a circle and a sphere have in common?
They're round, and round is a shape.
Updated - Grad 2020 Commencement Groupings.
Updated - Grad 2020 Commencement Schedule.pdf
Dear Grad Parents, Please pass the attached Commencement schedule on to your graduate(s). We ask that students arrive 15 minutes prior to their scheduled time and that they do not arrive early. Staff will greet the students outside the main entrance. Students may wear cap and gowns and/or formal wear. There will be more information to follow in the coming days. Thank you.
(Shared from the "Wolves E-genda" app.)
My name is Jafar. I come from afar. There's a bomb in my car. Allahu Akbar!
It's tricky when you're both a moth and a sea captain in charge of a ship, but up ahead, you see a lighthouse.
"I put the tin foil in the microwave, ma!"
What do kids have in comments? They have parents, right?
If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan in the face. What's he going to do? Tell his parents?
Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.
On the 12th day of Christmas Peo Pessi gave to me:
12 tap ins
11 pointless dribbles
10 fixed league titles
9 missed penalties
8-2
6 dives
500 million robbed from Barca
4 UCL semi losses
3 times he blamed Higuain
2 retirements
And a transfer to a farmers league.
There was this girl on the street that had no arms and no legs. She looked at me and said, “Hey sir, I’ve never been fucked before, will you fuck me?” So I threw her in the ocean and said, “Well, you’re fucked now.”
How did they know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment...
What did a bee who was interested in philosophy say?
"To bee or not to bee."
How did Peter Cottontail get his swing on? He made love to Alice in Wonderland.
Yo mama so ugly, she looked in the mirror and it broke.
What do you call a seven who's not feeling well? A sick seven
Where did Sally go after stepping onto the minefield? Everywhere
Getting a girlfriend is just like parking a car; usually all the good ones are taken, so you just gotta stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
What do a deaf person and an orphan have in common? Neither of them can hear their parents.
I was digging in my backyard and I found gold, and I went to run and tell my mom, but I realized why I was digging in the backyard.
Q: What did the Jewish person say when he beat me in a race?
A: Eat my dust.
This one butt cheek said to the other one, "It's really personal, but it's okay, I'll tell you." It said, "Hey, let's go to my crib so we can smoke a little joint, watch a movie, and go upstairs in the room and get down."
Barack Obama and Tork Poettschke are at the Natural History Museum. They stop in front of a showcase.
"These are the eggs from the ostrich!"
"Aha, and where are Trump's eggs?"