INS jokes
What does this website with its comments and a cult have in common?
We have a case of Witzelsucht.
For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a picture of me inside a pistachio.
But that’s just me in a nutshell.
A doctor walks into his office and looks his patient in the eyes, "Sir, you have to stop jerking off."
The man asks, "Why?"
The doctor then says, "Because I'm trying to examine you."
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."
My dogs pooped in my shoes? Pooper.
yes
Why is the queen in chess the most powerful piece? Because the board looks like a kitchen floor.
Why does the pancake team in baseball always win? Because they have the best batter.
If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette, he will be warm for a short time.
But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash, so now he's warm for the rest of his life.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
This car in RC-XD.
When you are eating delicious street food in China and you ask the chef: You: "Is this chicken?" Chef: "No, its meow meow."
What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?
They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.
What do a blonde chick and a turtle both have in common?
When they're on their backs, they're screwed.
I bullied a kid in a wheelchair. I told him to stand up for himself.
Dad joke.
Why does a dad get more than a pair of socks at the golf course?
Because of a hole in one!
Question: Why does my teenage brother wear a cape to bed?
Answer: Because he can't sleep in his race car bed...
My dad died in 9/11... He was the best pilot I know.
How can a guy do stand up comedy in a wheelchair?
Want to see a funny joke? Look in the mirror.
Why is no one friends with Dracula? Because he's a pain in the neck.
The Twin Towers were like a woman stuck in the washer machine. They both got freed.