INS jokes
Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the movies, she sneaks candy in her fat rolls.
What's the hardest part about being a paedophile?
Trying to fit in.
Chuck Norris once pissed in the tank of a semi as a joke.
It is now known as Optimus Prime.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away. So in turn, they try to swim to the island. The brunette swims 10 km then drowns. The redhead swims 30 km then drowns. The blonde swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.
What do ambulances and gay men have in common? They both take it in the back and go whoop whoop! :D
There were these three men; their names were Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day, they were riding in their car, and Shit fell out, so Manners went out to pick Shit up, and Shut up went to the police station.
When he got there, the police officer said, "What's your name, son?" and Shut up said, "Shut up." The officer replies with, "Ummm...excuse me?!" and Shut up said, "Shut up!" and the officer said, "Boy, where are your manners?" and Shut up said, "Round the corner picking up Shit!"
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Robin, get in the car.
What's a pedophile's favorite place to go in?
Kum and Go.
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Unnecessary.
Max likes his girls like he likes his wine. 7 years old and locked in his basement.
Yo mama got a daughter in a relationship, and I don't have time for you, ASAP, daughter, daughter, or your mother, or your call, or your choice of choice.
Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.
How did I know where you would go next?
Oh, I felt it in my bones!
A 13 year old girl is having a sleepover. One of her friends asks, "When was the last time you had an orgasm?" She replies, "3 days ago." Dad comes bursting in, "I KNEW YOU WERE FAKING LAST NIGHT!"
What's the difference between a baby and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't scream when I put my meat in it.
I once asked a sketchy man at a bar for some relationship advice. He simply replied, "They're all dead hookers once they're in the trunk."
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.
How are a woman and a car alike? Put something in them and they'll both start.
What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one.
What do you do after you eat the softest pussy in the world?
Put the diapers back on.