INS jokes
What do you call two Mexicans in a sleeping bag?
A Twix.
A young boy enters a barber shop, and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied:
"Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!"
If babies stay in their mothers for 9 months, are they not 9 months old when they are born?
Why are Mexicans so bad in the Olympics?
Because all the ones that can run, jump, and swim live in America.
My mom said, "Take out the trash," and I said, "Okay." The next day she asked, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "In line to get crushed."
When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and remember, there are no speed bumps.
What happens once every minute, twice every millennium, but never in a hundred years? The letter M.
I saw an ISIS video and I got the theme stuck in my head. I was humming it the next day at work when my Arab co-worker said, "soon, my brother."
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
What's worse than Sally in a trash can? Sally in thirteen trash cans.
Oliver Savage and Jack Savage who goes to TTC in Frinton in England.
"Sing in music lesson"
"I want to die, I want to die, I want to choke myself, break my neck and die."
Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.
Q: How come in airports, they park the planes outside?
A: They don't belong in buildings.
A woman comes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I think I have cancer." The doctor checks it out. "It’s all in your head," the doctor says. "Phew," said the woman. "A bunch of tumors, all in your head."
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put him in the microwave until his bill Withers.
It's a RUF life in Africa.
Why don't lesbians have sex in the morning?
Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?
101 pedo jokes.
Why's everything x2, need to get this shit dick off before the coppers come, it's called women taking advantage, you'll shit the bitcoin, 90% percent of pedo's who don't admit they're like kids blame the police, shit your kappas, you only want my veins why don't you inject me with smack, run in with ya black armbands, I've been sized for a million pound, stop giving me strain asking questions, I know what's going to happen next, bet the judge is a women, jealous coz your drink tastes like shit?
Is it coz your shit though? How many bids have you done? Shit 1 million views, don't try bribe me, did the police give me snip? How's my barbie doll or shall I say my little pony? The police beat fuck outta me, what's all these needle marks on my arm, I can tell you want something, why's everything like one big cycle, police own the dark web.
Keep it going on lol.
What do an abortion and a baby have in common?
The mom doesn't want either of them.
A mother and her 7 year old child are walking in the grocery store. The young boy then screams to a random woman “you're an ugly bitch.”
The mother grabs her son and says, “I’m so sorry, I must have told him a thousand of times to not judge people on how they look."