INS jokes
In Australia, my jokes are high koala-ty.
What do a coin and an Irish man have in common?
They're both fun to flip off.
What is the difference between an old chest and a kid? One doesn't cry when you drop it in the basement.
Back in Australia, my puns are high koala-tea!
Did you hear that Stephen Hawking wrote a new book? It's called "Around The House in Eighty Days."
What is the most popular fish in the ocean? "A starfish."
Yo mama so old, she was in third grade with Moses.
What's red and white and lives in a blender?
A baby.
When Kim Jong-un said "nuke the Chinese", he meant put the take away in the oven. Some simple misunderstandings start a war.
What's small, brown and crispy?
A baby in an oven.
Q: What do you call a man in a wheelchair?
A: Disabled.
What is red, white, and goes round and round?
A baby in a blender.
Sonic can run around the world in a second. I can do it in 0.5, but Chuck Norris has already done it before us.
Have you ever seen the clown in Walmart that hides from gay people?
No..... Really?
Hahaha
Grasshole.
The teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. "The sky is definitely blue." "Very good Kevin, but the sky can also be blue or black," the teacher replied.
Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him and picked Annie from the back of the room. "The grass is definitely green." "Very good Annie, but it can also be brown." Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally, she called on him. "Mine's more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?" "Why no, Johnny, why would you ask such a question?" She questioned. "Well, if they don't have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself."
How did the blind Catholic get in a car crash? He asked Jesus to take the wheel.
When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.
A man was having a dream. He dreamt about a mystical creature that was commonly known as the god of toast.
When the man woke up, he turned to tell his wife about the dream. When he delivers the "toast god" punchline, his wife shrugged as she faced the opposite direction to the man.
The man turned around also and started sobbing as he realised his marriage is in shambles.
Who do you call in times of a marriage crisis?
A prostitute, because your wife fucking sucks.
What did the atom say to the positive in math class? "We could make a positive number!"