INS jokes
What's the difference between a sports car and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a sports car in my garage.
Why is Stephen Hawking in hell?
He couldn't get his wheelchair up the stairway to heaven.
Did you hear about the person who got hit in the head with a soda can?
Good thing it was a "soft" drink!
Who were the fastest runners ever? Adam and Eve. They were first in the human race.
What do you call a bunch of white people in an elevator?
A box of crackers.
What do you call it when Hitler puts retards in the oven? Baked potatoes.
Can we have a party in space?
First, we need to planet ;)
Get it? "Plan it" = planet.
A miscarriage always brings the child out in me.
A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street, and they come to a kid playing in a sandbox. The priest says, "Hey, you wanna go screw that kid?"
To which the rabbi replies, "Out of what?"
"Immobile" means "I'm mobile" in my books.
What's red and in a corner?
A baby with a razor blade.
What's green and in a corner?
The same baby three weeks later.
You are American when you walk into the bathroom, and you are American when you walk out.
But do you know what you are when you're in the bathroom? European.
There was a dog in the middle of the room, so I called it and started to play fetch. Then my mother shouted at me for playing with my food. I missed it, but it was tasty.
Me: (pointing up in the air) "Everybody listen up, this is a robbery!"
Girl: "Dude, this is a library."
Me: "Oh." (screwing on a silencer)
You're the bus driver. The bus driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven, picks up a woman with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and buried his mother.
Who's the bus driver?
You will never nose [know].
What is blue and sits in a corner? A baby in a baggy.
What is the difference between my Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?
I don't keep my Lamborghini in my garage.
Yesterday, my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. So to teach her a lesson, I said, "Just for that, you don't get any butter for a month."
Today in the kitchen, she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try!"
If you fuck your sister in front of a redneck, are you appropriating their culture?
I adopted a dog. It's gone now.
At least homeless people in China are not starving.