INS jokes
What do you call a man in the ground? A dead guy.
How do you circumcise a hillbilly? ... Kick his sister in the jaw.
What's red and screams when you shake it?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Man, it's hot in here!"
The other muffin says, "OH MY GOSH A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"
Q: What do you call it when four Mexicans drown in quicksand?
A: Cuatro Cinco.
Why don't Mexicans cross the border in groups of 3? Cause the sign says "No Trespassing."
What do you call a blonde in the freezer?
Her parents named her Cindy, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack.
The grapes in the supermarket are really raisin' the bars...
Two fish walked into a wall. One said to the other, "Dam!"
Statistics show that 1 in 3 people live next to a pedophile. However, I think that's a lie because I just live next to 2 stunning 8-year-olds.
How does an artist fill in a CV?
He draws on experience.
Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his living room. It's not dead or anything, it's just too scared to move.
Why do I carry pepper spray?
Just in case of as-SAULT.
I named my daughter Kennedy so when I talked about how her brain was shot out of her head, people just thought I paid really close attention in history.
Mosely in a white van.
I like my girls how I like my wine, 12 years locked in the basement.
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Porsche?
I don't have a Porsche in the garage.
In Australia, my jokes are high koala-ty.
What do a coin and an Irish man have in common?
They're both fun to flip off.