INS jokes
How do you get 100 babies in the back of a pick up truck? Blender.
How do you get them back out? Straw.
A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! That's not going to help!" she said. "Sure it does," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."
I went to the zoo the other day. There was only one dog in it. It was a shih tzu.
Yo momma so dumb, she washes her dishes in the river.
Tyler M is not to be sitting in the chair he is right now.
Yo mama so short, she wakes up every day in a brick house singing “Everything is Awesome”.
Why was it cold in Stephen Hawking's house?
Because he had a new window open...
Q: Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
A: It did not want to get stuck in a crack.
Guys, I guess with all these storms there was a power cut in his house.
I am up in the air about becoming a pilot.
What's the difference between a car and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a car in my garage.
Derrick and Clive. They have a song about a Dad with cancer and other extremely offensive subjects in a routine called "The Non-Stop Dancer." It is very funny, but it is made even funnier by Dudley Moore's drunken and stoned laughter through the song.
One of the best routines ever. Look it up on YouTube. They recorded them in the studio, but they are ad-libbing and extremely drunk.
When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a megabyte and some microchips.
A new burger has been invented in memory of Stephen Hawking.
I doubt it will sell though, as it's 95% cabbage.
How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.
Be warned, if you are in the shower, I might pikachu and it's not my fault if I see any jigglypuffs.
Never invest in funerals. It's a dying industry.
What's worse than a baby in a trash can?
A baby in 10 trash cans.
In a cruel twist of irony, Stephen Hawking's favorite song was "I've Got the Power."
I have eaten 6 babies, 9 adolescent children, and 2 infants in the past week ;p