INS jokes

In Saudi Arabia, our pick up lines are, "Girl, are you a terrorist? Cuz you da bomb."

I don't like it when people make 9/11 jokes. My dad was in it.

He was the best damn pilot in Saudi Arabia.

If a man drove over a woman, whose fault was it?

The man, because he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen.

Did you know the people in the twin towers were great readers?

Yeah, they went through 80 stories in seconds.

Teacher: "People with depression never get anywhere in life."

Student 1: "My mom has depression, but she died."

Student 2: "My sister has depression and she's going to therapy."

Student 3: "My dad has depression, and he's doing REALLY well."

A player in Baldi's Basics says, "Why are you bald?"

Baldi responds, "Well, I have cancer."

The player says, "Oh, good for you!"

So I made a simple cancer joke on Roblox with my friend, and then both her dumb-ass friends were like, "OMG WHY WOULD U SAY DAT? YOUR HORRIBLE!!" That pissed me off. Like damn woman, it's not like I said, "IF PEOPLE IN YOUR FAMILY DIED FROM CANCER THAT MEANS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE ALL DUMB-ASSES." If anything they are actually dumb asses but hey. Also they can't talk. They don't know that I'm abused everyday at home and pressured to get good grades or else I'd get my head bashed against a wall till there is blood. So if they are reading this, SUCK MY ASS BITCH.

I like my women how I like my cigars: 7 years old and coming from Cuban in a burlap sack.

Why can’t pedophiles ever win races? Because they are always coming in a little behind.

Which is the worst place to sit at in a wedding?

Between 2 buttcheeks.

I'll never forget my boss's last words: "We shall serve the best meat in our burgers!"

What do women and airplanes have in common?

A cockpit.

Some moving men had just begun their day's work.

The first thing they brought into the house was a huge couch.

The owner came in and asked how everything was going. They replied, "Sofa so good."

The first priest asks the second, "How long do we keep the babies in the holy water?" The priest replies, "No clue... I close my eyes when I masturbate!"

A horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.

Why does Doctor Pepper come in a bottle?

His wife died.

1950: In the future there will be flying cars.

2018: Pewdiepie shuts down Shane Dawson.

"Puta, banana in your ear!"

what do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a hot tub?

steamed vegetables.

I like my woman like I like my coffee: in a big sack on top of a donkey.