INS jokes

A player in Baldi's Basics says, "Why are you bald?"

Baldi responds, "Well, I have cancer."

The player says, "Oh, good for you!"

So I made a simple cancer joke on Roblox with my friend, and then both her dumb-ass friends were like, "OMG WHY WOULD U SAY DAT? YOUR HORRIBLE!!" That pissed me off. Like damn woman, it's not like I said, "IF PEOPLE IN YOUR FAMILY DIED FROM CANCER THAT MEANS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE ALL DUMB-ASSES." If anything they are actually dumb asses but hey. Also they can't talk. They don't know that I'm abused everyday at home and pressured to get good grades or else I'd get my head bashed against a wall till there is blood. So if they are reading this, SUCK MY ASS BITCH.

I like my women how I like my cigars: 7 years old and coming from Cuban in a burlap sack.

Why can’t pedophiles ever win races? Because they are always coming in a little behind.

Which is the worst place to sit at in a wedding?

Between 2 buttcheeks.

I'll never forget my boss's last words: "We shall serve the best meat in our burgers!"

The person next to me on my flight was shocked when they found out I was Arabian. I lagged so hard my gerber almost fell out of my pocket.

What do women and airplanes have in common?

A cockpit.

Some moving men had just begun their day's work.

The first thing they brought into the house was a huge couch.

The owner came in and asked how everything was going. They replied, "Sofa so good."

The first priest asks the second, "How long do we keep the babies in the holy water?" The priest replies, "No clue... I close my eyes when I masturbate!"

A horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.

Why does Doctor Pepper come in a bottle?

His wife died.

1950: In the future there will be flying cars.

2018: Pewdiepie shuts down Shane Dawson.

"Puta, banana in your ear!"

what do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a hot tub?

steamed vegetables.

I like my woman like I like my coffee: in a big sack on top of a donkey.

Your mama is so fat that she doesn't get crushed by cars, she crushes cars and babies in strollers on the sidewalk when she falls and doesn't see any remains, so there is no evidence.

What do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a swimming pool?

Vegetable soup.

When I was in high school, me and my friends would play with this girl who had Down syndrome.

We would get into a circle around her and say, "Nightmare, nightmare!"

So a mushroom walks in a bar and the waiter says, "You can't be here."

And the mushroom says, "Why? I'm a fungi!"