INS jokes

Rabbit

  • You know why Elmer Fudd always came out hunting rabbits in the woods? Because Bugs Bunny would not stop flirting with his girlfriend.

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  • Elephant

  • Why would you not let an elephant sleep in the same bed with you?

    Because they stink and now the room smells like elephant shit.

    Laundry

  • I would rather do my own laundry, not my uncle's laundry, because I ain't no damn butler like Alfred from Batman. I don't live in no damn Batcave by Gotham tity.

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  • Nightmare

  • The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii. Then I met my girl Zendaya on board. She was shaking her ass and playing with her penis. Then she asked me, "Hey, you wanna make love in the cabin?" I said, "Sure, sweet thang," gave me her number, kissed me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.

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  • Feet

  • Why did you put your dirty ass feet in my grits without telling me all this?

    Because I forgot to wash and dry them with a paper towel.

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  • Food

  • Every time I come in the kitchen, my girl is in the kitchen in the damn refrigerator eating all the food, like the fried chicken, the mashed potatoes, the collard greens, mac and cheese, and the cornbread.

    Then I said I wanna eat some of that shit. I love soul food. Then I told her, "You keep it up; your fat ass is going to be big like the house on Haunted Hill."

  • 1
  • Grim Reaper

  • Knock knock.

    Who's there? It's the Grim Reaper.

    Grim Reaper who?

    The Grim Reaper who is about to come in your house, smoke some weed, drink some Grim Reaper liquor, and then get drunk.

    Butt

  • Why did Alice from Wonderland get her butt stuck in the rabbit hole at first? Because she probably ate too many hamburgers and drank too much wine just out of nowhere, then told her butt to hold it in before more food pops out.

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  • Butt

  • This one butt cheek said to the other one, "It's really personal, but it's okay, I'll tell you." It said, "Hey, let's go to my crib so we can smoke a little joint, watch a movie, and go upstairs in the room and get down."

    Dynamite

  • "Hey man, what's that, a dynamite you have in your hand? Ok, well hold it over. I'll give it right back."

    "Oh no, I won't!"

    "Oh yes, you will!"

    "Oh, I won't!"

    "Oh yes, you will!"

    "Ok fine, then you take it or I'll blow our your butt before it farts."

  • 0
  • Toilet Paper

  • The other day all those toilet papers came by my house and asked do I have any crack candy. Naw, I don't have no damn crack candy or no crack apples. All I have here in the backyard is a peanut butter crack sandwich. Help yourself, and while you're at it, clean up all the damn doggie dodo that's everywhere. Thank you, Mr. Toilet Papers.

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  • Bathroom

  • What do you tell your butt cheek when you need to use the bathroom? "Hold it in, so you won't get constipated and die."

    Basketball

  • Can I make you a basketball cake for dessert?

    Yeah, you sure can, but don't be having all your balls in it. It will taste nasty.

    Roast

  • "This dude right here don't look nothing like no damn Tyrese Gibson. He look like a hot, fishy tail termite all dressed in green makeup."