INS jokes
We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.
But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.
I fell in love with my computer because it helps me Excel.
Why can't an orphan be in a Scream movie?
It's always someone you know.
There are two kids sitting in a classroom: Lily and John. Lily sleeps in class every day.
The teacher asks Lily who made heaven and earth. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"
The teacher says, "That's right."
The teacher says the next day she asks the same question. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"
"That's right," the teacher says.
The next day she asks Lily what did Eve say to Adam after their 100th. John pokes her again. "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I'mma break it in half!" she shouts.
A girl walks up to her blind friend who she had not seen in a while and says: "Long time no see!"
When you tell the men in the suits you can see that the demons of your sins are watching you...
But they know you're blind.
What do Hiroshima and Herobrine have in common?
They're not heroes.
What do a circle and a sphere have in common?
They're round, and round is a shape.
What does this website with its comments and a cult have in common?
We have a case of Witzelsucht.
Why is "T" well-respected, but more in its lowercase form?
It crossed the line with Jesus.
What does a school bus crash and a train crash have in common?
They always line up.
What does Amogus and Jesus have in common?
They're sus.
What do a tank and a warship have in common?
They're overweight.
What do 9/11 and 911 have in common?
They're twins.
I went to a park, then I kicked a ball at a kid in a wheelchair, then screamed "Rocket League!"
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water.
Jack slipped, and the condom ripped; now they have a daughter.
Where's your mom?
In the bin.
What do you call a fat person in a wheelchair?
A broken wheelchair.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to take Snoop Dogg for a walk.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to put Vin Diesel in her gas tank.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to mop the floor with Taylor Swift.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to ring Kristen Bell.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to skim Dwayne Johnson across a lake.
Did you know the F in orphan stands for family... Oh wait, haha.
We should stop making jokes about orphans before they tell their parents... Oh, continue.