INS jokes
How do you find out if your kid is gay?
Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.
How did my dad know I was gay?
He stuck his cock in me and I liked it.
Kid: I got homework.
Mom: Ok, so?
Kid: I got a F in my balls.
What do you call an Asian chick with dick in her ass, pushy and mouth?
Filipino.
How do you f**k a sheep?
Put your d**k in it and face it off the cliff edge. It'll keep going backwards as you push forwards.
What has two legs, two arms, one dead and covered in red?
My ex-wife.
What do you call a Taliban in a bath bomb?
What do you call a wheelchair user in a fire?
Hot Wheels.
What happens when Stephen Hawking wakes up from his sleep?
"Log in."
I was in Russia at a stand-up comedy performance about someone making fun of Putin, but the jokes were awful. The execution was nice, though.
What do Rubik's cubes and melons have in common?
They have a history of separating colors.
Twinkle, twinkle, there’s a car Coming like a shooting star.
I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.
My dad died in 9/11. He was the best pilot.
What's the difference between a goat and a sex slave?
I don't have a slave in my sex dungeon.
What's the difference between a Porsche and 50 dead babies?
..... I don't have a Porsche in my garage.
Where did Sally go during the bombings? Everywhere!
Why didn’t the parents bother looking for her? Because she was in the front and back yard in small chunks! 😂
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"
"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
Tell me morbid jokes in comments so I have some jokes for my friend.
Here’s another joke my friend told me.
What did the school shooter do when the librarian told him to be quiet? Pulled out a silencer.