INS jokes
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
'Cause it was stuck in the crack... *buttcrack*
What kind of nuts come in cans?
Creamed a-corn.
Why did the boy leave his chestnuts in the rain?
He wanted them rusted.
What competition do nuts participate in?
The peanut butter cup.
Your momma is so fat, she was in a movie and the screen broke!
The toothbrush says, "I have the worst job in the whole world."
The toilet paper behind him says, "Yeah, right."
Why do orphans only drink water in cereal?
'Cause Dad never brought home the milk...
Why do orphans like Monopoly?
To cry about the money they can’t earn in real life.
Are you a school? Because I want to shoot a bunch of kids in you.
Are you an orphanage?
Why?
Because I wanna put my kids in you.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.
Why is my sister so annoying? Because put your own thing in.
People complain we are overpopulated.
Well, then if we committed suicide, then why do they be sad? It's one less person to think about. Why complain about it when in the end we become sad people?
I can tell a joke :)
Twinkle, twinkle, there's a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.
If an orphan was Spiderman, which movie would he be in?
"No Way Home."
Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water?
"Because his dad never brought the milk."
Little Johnny walked in on his mom in the shower and said, "What's that on your chest, Mom?" Mom said, "Those are my headlights." Johnny: "Oh. What's that in between your legs, Mom?" Mom: "Oh, that's my bush." Johnny: "Oh, OK." Next, he walked in on his dad in the shower. He said, "Dad, what's that in between your legs?" Dad: "Oh, that's my snake." Johnny: "Oh, OK." That night, little Johnny walks in on his parents going at it and said, "Mom, turn on his headlights, there's a snake going in your bush!"
I like my wine how I like my women: 7 years old, and locked up in my basement.
Roses are red, violets are blue, faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't worry, I will be there too, not in the cage but laughing at you.
I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to "Hang in there."