INS jokes
Fancy playing rodeo sex?
"OK then," she said!
Then put your dick in her ass and say it’s not as tight as your sister’s ass and hold on for dear life... real life cow bow boy shit!
Little Johnny once was at a camp and asked his teacher if he could sleep with her because he was homesick, so the teacher said yes. A few seconds later, Little Johnny asked if he could run his finger in her bellybutton, and she said yes.
A few seconds later, she moaned and felt so good, but it was not his finger putting it down her bellybutton; it was his dick and her penis.
Would you rather listen to Justin Bieber or die in the slowest and most painful way possible?
They're the same thing.
What is one good thing about pedophiles?
They drive slow in the school zone.
School shootings are everywhere. In ice cream shops and even the woods.
Did you hear about the cannibal that passed his brother in the woods?
I was born and raised in Newcastle.
My grandfather used to tell me stories about Penaldo, a goblin from Portugal that travels to England when Newcastle is playing. He scores a tapin and then disappears until the next Newcastle game. I still have nightmares that he’s in our stadium.
Recently I visited a restaurant in Crotone. When I was done eating, I told the waitress I was “Penaldo” with my food. She instantly knew that I was finished with my food.
Dad: Want to go to the park, kid?
Kid: Sure.
Dad: Come on.
Kid: Why are we at the orphanage?
Dad: Go in.
Am I the only one here that actually tried to kill myself 15 times and failed every time and landed up in the hospital every time?
"I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying."
- Charlie Chaplin
One time Uma Thurman was Poison Ivy; she was weird in that, except for her punny jokes.
Uma Thurman in "Pulp Fiction" was very kind and possibly the sweetest character, unless you count her forehead as of now.
When the quiet kid lost a game of basketball and reaches into his bag,
other people in the gym: "Oh shit this nigga bout to shoot."
I threw my boomerang and now I live in constant fear.
When I shit in the toilet, I think that if I shit hard enough, I can see my asshole plug.
My dad died in 9/11. He was a Muslim pilot.
My name is Jafar. I come from afar. There's a bomb in my car. Allahu Akbar!
You can understand depression if you are still in school and get bullied by bullies, punished by teachers, and scolded by parents for being that quiet kid who says nothing.
There’s this girl who gets bullied for being in a wheelchair.
Why don’t she stand up for herself?