INS jokes
Baby: Stroll?
Me: *puts baby in stroller* WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL!
Baby: *happily screams*
Stroller: *front wheels break off*
Me: WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL WITH NO FRONT WHEELS!
Baby: Oka- CRASH!
When Bob got on that sled, I don't know how he went so smoothly, but that is the invention of bobsled peoples.
And then Mark came in.
What's the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?
A prostitute can wash its crack and sell it again.
Yo mama so dumb that when she saw the "log in" page on her computer, she went and put a log in it.
My dad died during 9/11, he was the best pilot in all Saudi Arabia.
If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That’ll give you a reason to get up in the morning.
I once put the Bible in the fiction section.
Your mama's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, it said, "Viewer discretion advised!"
If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That'll give you a reason to get up in the morning.
I asked a man if I was the fastest gun in the west. He said my 17 wasn't good enough. After that, a lot of lead went into his head.
Am I the only one who's on here because it's not blocked on the school laptop and I can't use my phone in class?
Cows go moo.
*Shotguns in a nutshell*
2B: MUST.
4B: ADD.
6B: MORE.
12B: *B A R R E L S*
*And that's how multi-barrel shotguns were made.*
You're so fat, every time you go in the elevator, it goes down.
Poor kids in American schools, they want books, but all they get are magazines.
A straight man and a gay man are talking. The straight man says, "I'm wanted in 2 states for murder." and the gay man replies with, "Oh, that sucks. I'm wanted in 13 for existing."
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? A TANK!
What do dead people and orphans have in common? They can't see their family.
What does "off-limits" have in common with dead people? They can’t see their family.
Learn math the easiest way from Pendu.
Multiplying any number by 0 is 0 itself.
Hint: Multiplying any number by Pendu's G/A in 2022 is 0 itself.
The answer is 0.
I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.