INS jokes
Yo hair so big it took me weeks to find the needle in it.
What does McDonald's and a paedophile have in common?
They both like sticking their meat in ten-year-olds.
"I'm thinking about killing off the main character in this book I'm writing."
"What type of book is it?"
"An autobiography."
How do you know when it's bedtime in the Netherlands?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
A man was shaving in the bathroom when all of a sudden Bubba, the boy he payed to mow his lawn, comes in to take a piss. The man can't help but look over his shoulder and he is surprised at how well endowed he is, and he asks: "Bubba, what's your secret?"
Bubba replies: "Well, every night before I get in bed with a woman I whack my dick on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!"
The man was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night, before he went to bed with his wife. So he got to bed and whacked his dick on the bedpost three times and the wife wakes up and says "Bubba, is that you?"
Did you know that McDonald's have a new McScully burger?
It's a 59-year-old piece of meat in a 2-year-old bun.
Why does a kid in a wheelchair get bullied? Because he can’t stand up for himself.
Obi-Wan be like:
"To Darth Maul, lightsabers are blue, lightsabers are red. I cut you in half, why the fuck aren’t you dead?"
Why is being an electrician the easiest job in the world? It's literally light work.
If they’re short and called Rose and born in June, they’re emo.
Someone walks up to his dad and says, "Dad, what’s the difference between potentiality and reality?" Soo ok, the dad says to the son, "Go ask your mother, sister, and your brother if they’d sleep with the postman for $1,000,000." So the son comes back 5 minutes later and said, "Dad, they all said they would sleep with the postman." So, son, potentially, we have a million dollars, but in reality, we have two sluts and a gay one."
I can’t remember if I already said this or not. I might have already said this. Also, this is a true story.
So, I’m walking into a store in Amish country, and there’s this guy with a bear trap. Then my mom’s friend says, "This guy’s gonna catch some bears." Then the Amish guy stops, looks around, and whispers, “It’s for democrats.”
Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.
So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.
Why did the orphan fail in baseball?
He couldn't find home.
Why do orphans like Spider-Man?
'Cause they really enjoy Far From Home and No Way Home. Damn, was he mad about Spider-Man Homecoming!
Little Herobrine, I'm cumming in ur mom! Call me Saddam Hussein cuz I'm dropping rap bombs!!
What do a stripper and a coconut have in common? They both have a creamy center.
I have a Twin Towers model in my room.
It got infested with jumping spiders.
Why did the cops come over?
Because parents had kids in their basement.
Why do people make fun of you jokes in worst jokes ever? Because it is called "worst jokes ever."