INS jokes
Obi-Wan be like:
"To Darth Maul, lightsabers are blue, lightsabers are red. I cut you in half, why the fuck aren’t you dead?"
Why is being an electrician the easiest job in the world? It's literally light work.
If they’re short and called Rose and born in June, they’re emo.
Someone walks up to his dad and says, "Dad, what’s the difference between potentiality and reality?" Soo ok, the dad says to the son, "Go ask your mother, sister, and your brother if they’d sleep with the postman for $1,000,000." So the son comes back 5 minutes later and said, "Dad, they all said they would sleep with the postman." So, son, potentially, we have a million dollars, but in reality, we have two sluts and a gay one."
I can’t remember if I already said this or not. I might have already said this. Also, this is a true story.
So, I’m walking into a store in Amish country, and there’s this guy with a bear trap. Then my mom’s friend says, "This guy’s gonna catch some bears." Then the Amish guy stops, looks around, and whispers, “It’s for democrats.”
Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.
So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.
Why did the orphan fail in baseball?
He couldn't find home.
Why do orphans like Spider-Man?
'Cause they really enjoy Far From Home and No Way Home. Damn, was he mad about Spider-Man Homecoming!
Little Herobrine, I'm cumming in ur mom! Call me Saddam Hussein cuz I'm dropping rap bombs!!
What do a stripper and a coconut have in common? They both have a creamy center.
I have a Twin Towers model in my room.
It got infested with jumping spiders.
Why did the cops come over?
Because parents had kids in their basement.
Why do people make fun of you jokes in worst jokes ever? Because it is called "worst jokes ever."
Everyone always has a special person in their life someday, but I think yours got ran over by a bus.
Hey girl, are your pants a mirror? 'Cause I can see myself in them.
Elderly man: Can I get a discount, please? I fought in World War 2.
Cashier: Sure!
Elderly man: Danke.
A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"
What do a stool and an emo have in common?
They both sit still.
I always wear Puma, put my balls in your mouth.
So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.
If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.