INS jokes
Why can't an orphan go to school? He needs a parent admission form to get in.
One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.
She asked me, "What are you doing?"
I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."
She asked, "What does that mean?"
I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."
In chess, why does the queen have more mobility than the king?
Because the chessboard looks like a kitchen floor.
In some places in the world, you can't get an abortion even after rape. That's so fucked up.
You serve your time, you get out, and you STILL have to pay child support. What a nightmare.
What happens to the crow in the earthquake?
It turned into a milkshake. 🤔😂
I just saw people writing "Zoophile," "Ailurophile," and "Dendrophilia" in their bios. I thought this was cool, but when I wrote "Necrophile" and "Pedophile," I don't know why people started hating me as if I did something wrong. I was just trying to be cool like them, man.
What do an orphan's father and Nemo have in common?
They are both nowhere to be found.
What is the only video game to be ever made in Africa?
Where's My Water?
What do feminists and tampons have in common?
They're both stuck-up cunts.
Bro, I’m so pissed. There is always that one kid in the class who the teacher helps. I hate that guy in the wheelchair.
If 6 was afraid of 7 because 7 ate 9, then why was 10 afraid?
Because 10 was in the middle of 9/11.
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But you need 5000 Soviet troops in case he goes on strike!
A blind man had an argument with a man in a wheelchair. The man in a wheelchair made fun of him saying, "look, there's a spider." The blind man simply said, "Step on it."
Me: How do cowboys say hello?
Friend: Howdy.
Me: How do deez nuts fit in your mouth?
Me: What are we doing in HPE?
Friend: Fitness.
Me: Fitting deez nuts in your mouth.
Me: What's the fifth month of the year?
Friend: May.
Me: May deez nuts fit in your mouth?
How many orphans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they don't even got a home.
There's a new game in the arcade where kids can hit raging paedophiles with a mallet: Whack-A-Jack, oh!
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and Eminem? Eminem was never proven to beat his wife in court, but Johnny Depp was.
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only Juan.