INS jokes
How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.
POV: Wine Taster in hell.
I was sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. This silhouette begins to speak, "You have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. Then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. Your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. How do you plead?"
The man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit.
"Guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like? I will take any punishment you deem fit."
"Very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request."
Out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. The boy says, "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." The boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, taste like chicken."
What's the scariest thing about white people in prison?
How rare they are.
Who would win in a race, Stephen Hawking or a turtle?
The turtle, because it can walk.
I asked, "Mom, what's that in the sky?"
Mom replied with, "That's your father."
There's 3 words in important: I'm, port, ant.
What's in common with Michael Jackson and a phone?
Kids play with both of them.
What is 8 divided by 2?
Answer: 3 (you cut 8 in half).
If you're born deaf, what language would you think in?
Did you know the F in Orphan stands for family?
What do apples and orphans have in common?
The apple gets picked.
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?
They both leave children's rooms with an empty sack.
What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?
Only one moans when I put my meat in it.
Who are the fastest readers?
911, they went through 110 stories in 8 seconds.
Why were the people in 911 devastated?
They ordered extra flavored pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
Happy birthday to you, you look like a ball, can’t fit in my jaws, I try to suck it.
What happens when you work in the Twin Towers? It connects to airplane WiFi.
Singing in the shower is fun, until you get soap in your mouth.
Then it's a soap opera.
What do Kurt Cobain and an emo kid have in common?
They both smell like "Teen Spirit."
I feel bad for the people who died in 2001. Those poor terrorists died doing their job.