INS jokes
The 9/11 and the Spanish flu are kind of similar.
The Spanish flu was a very dangerous flu, and in 9/11, something very dangerous flew.
What's the only gun that doesn't exist in Africa? The water gun.
Kid: "Mom, I had a scary dream. Can I come sleep with you and dad?"
Mom: "Sure, sweetie, sleep in the middle."
Kid: "Dad, can you get the remote out of my back?"
Dad: "That isn't the remote."
*Weird background music*
Hello everyone, now a question to make it in there is no right or wrong answer, but who here has watched fireb0rn??
Asians don't believe in Santa because they make the toys.
The people in 9/11 were the fastest readers. They went through 10 stories in 10 seconds.
Why are emos useful in stores? A: Their barcodes give them discounts.
What's the worst thing to happen to a Japanese person in WW2... being drafted as a kamikaze pilot, or existing with a Fat Man or Little Boy?
All of you guys in this orphanage are ABCDEFGHIJK.
What's that? said the orphans.
Attractive, brilliant, cute, darling, elegant, funny, gorgeous, and hot.
What's the IJK?
I'm just kidding! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
What do Princess Diana and the Beatles have in common?
They both made quite an impact in Europe.
A lion, Johnny Depp, and a hockey player from Nashville all have one thing in common.
They're all Predators!
TJ's hairline is so far back, if you travel back in time, you still won't find it.
You know how in Pinocchio the French puppets have the thigh rings?
Well, I got them too! Only red and thinner.
What do orphans and police not have in common?
The police can actually go home.
Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.
At the library, I got in trouble for putting a cooking book in the women's section.
What was the favorite game in 2001? Flight simulator.
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
I was in a haunted house today. Nothing scared me until I reached the last room, where I saw the scariest Halloween ghost I've ever seen. He took my pens and ghosted. I was told that I saw Pristiano Penaldo and I was lucky enough to see him because he performs once in a blue moon.
If somebody gives you lemons, cut them in half and do the juice in his eyes.