INS jokes

Look for the Gummy Bear album in stores on November 13th, with lots of music, videos, and extras!

Hey, I never knew we had a planet in our body!

What do Michael Jackson and math have in common? They are both hard for kids.

"I met a girl and she's 28."

"Now I'm the coolest guy in all of 8th grade."

- AJR

I got in trouble at school today because I played the knife game with a pair of scissors, but I couldn't flip them off because I was missing that finger.

I got in trouble today because I threw a lamp at the emo kid and said, "Lighten up!"

Today a child asked if I was an angel. I asked why, and he said, "Mommy says that angels have marks on their wrists because they don't want to be in this world."

I get so many things stuck in my head, though, unfortunately none of them were a bullet.

What do you get when you put a baby in a blender?

A boner.

If I was an object in this world, I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.

Yo mama so fat, when she jumped in the ocean, the whales said, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"

What do a black and a tornado have in common?

They both wreck neighborhoods.

A boy's hairline is always in the back of his head, and its shape is like a check mark.

How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. They just hold it in the socket and expect the world to revolve around them.

Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.

Being a police officer in Nunavut must be so fun. They get to play Cut the Rope on the job all the time!

Replace the v in Venus with a p.

I don't usually make 9/11 jokes. They always go down in flames.

What's long and hard and has c*m in the middle? Cucumber. What were you thinking?

911 what's your emergency?

"Burning in toaster."

"Toast?"

"Yeah so your calling 911 because of burnt toast?"

"Set fire to my forest!"