INS jokes
What's blue and bad for your teeth?
A green brick that's painted blue after the original paint dries (it takes a little while to dry), but after it dries you can paint it and then it will be green. If the brick is green it is called a green brick as it is green (not blue anymore) and it hurts your teeth because brick is a hard material that can damage the bones in your mouth (also known as your teeth).
Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."
Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"
Someone: . . .
I have more cum in one testicle than you have in your whole penis.
Your hairline is so [bad] Will Smith can't slap it back in place.
What do an orphan and an apple not have in common?
The apple actually gets picked.
What do you call Stephen Hawking in a burning building?
Hot Wheels.
Ariana Grande agrees with me on something: women belong in the kitchen and bedroom.
Why do orphans never wake up in the morning? Their dad can’t wake them up.
If anyone's joke here says "burn in hell," I will mimic your account for the rest of your life.
Why is vegetable soup hard to cook? Because you can't fit the wheelchair in!
Having sex in an elevator is wrong. On so many levels.
Why can't orphans be in charge of making web pages?
Because they can't add a home page.
The people in the tower ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was a plane.
All my friends live in a forest. It's called Aokigahara.
Did you know Helen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard?
No, and neither did she.
Foreplay in may areas: "You awake?"
Way down South: "You awake, mom?"
What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang off trees.
I don’t have another talking stage in me. 🤦🏿♂️ Do you squirt, and is your BD dead? 😭
A father bought his depressed son a new house, and then pointing at it, he said, "Hang in there, son!"
How do you surprise a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.