What can change color and get beat up?
You.
What do you get when you put a baby in a box of razor blades and throw it down the stairs?
An erection!
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident.
He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"
The Doctor replies, "I know, I amputated your arms."
A man walked into a bar...
Ouch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What's the fastest way to get to the hospital? Stand in the middle of the road.
How to fall down the stairs:
Step 1, 2, 3, 6, 10, floor.
"Sticks and stones break my bones."
A crowbar does it so much quicker.
I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning.
And my driver's license got revoked too.
A kid in a wheelchair got hurt yesterday. I got detention yesterday because I told him to walk it off.
What does Kobe now have in common with his helicopter?
They both have torn rotators.
What happened when the American broke his arm?
He went broke.
Why did the ball person go to the doctor?
He was kicked in the balls.
I hit myself on a window yesterday. I really felt the pane.
You get paper cuts on each eye and walk off a cliff.
What is worse than a baby spinning at a hundred miles per hour on a washing line?
Hitting it off with a cricket bat.
I met a girl that was 6'5" and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm. She really said "oh snap" like a twin tower.
What is red, green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs?
...A girl scout that got hit by a car.
How do you make epileptic kids dance?
Throw a flash bang in their room.
Q: How did Helen Keller get a concussion?
A: She kept stepping on a rake.
There was a little boy named Chris who was addicted to Roblox.
One day, his grandpa fell into a deep coma caused by a head injury.
One day, little Chris went to visit his poor grandpa. He brought his Windows 10 too, but it had no charge in it. After pulling out some wires and placing his into the wall, he started to hear a long beeping sound, but ignored it and continued to play Roblox. Chris's parents came and saw what had happened.
The dad then yelled, "You dumb f***, you killed my father!!!"
Then Chris said "Yeah. He was worth robucks, too."
