Injury jokes
My girlfriend went to the doctor for a broken arm, and they told her it should be better in about two months. I asked her what they said. She said, "It should be better in about two months." I then asked her, "What did the dentist say?"
What do you say to a person who got his whole left side cut off? "Are you all right?!"
What does my arm have in common with paper?
They both can be cut.
What's white and black and red all over? A nun that fell down stairs.
My sister got in a car crash a couple days ago. When she got to the hospital, the doctor told her that she needed to get metal mechanics in her leg.
She got really scared and yelled at the doctor, telling them that, “I will not get those implanted in my leg.” I guess she just doesn’t associate with knee gears.
What time is it if you sprain an ankle or an arm?
Time to go to the doctor! 🥼
What's worse than ten babies stapled to a tree?
A baby stapled to ten trees.
Person 1: Why did you put the baby feet first into the blender? Person 2: To see his facial expression. Why else?
What's black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.
What did Michael Jackson say when Anne got hurt?
"♫ ANNIE, ARE YOU OKAY? ARE YOU OKAY, ANNIE? ANNIE ARE YOU OKAY. BUT JUST TELL US, THAT YOU'RE OKAY. ♫"
What is the best way to catch a baby from falling off the roof?
With a pitchfork.
My little league football debut was a lot like the first time I had sex. I was beaten, bruised, and bloody, but at least my Dad came.
There was a man in a wheelchair, and he got knocked out in front of a bus. He had a wheelie good life!
Why does a movie set say "break a leg"? Because they have a cast.
*The doctor asking why I've broken 19 bones in the past week*
*My abusive mum- Go on, tell him!*
Well what am I gonna do now...
What happened when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence? Complete and utter destruction.
Why did Little Sally get hurt while playing soccer?
Because she fell into a minefield.
What a day yesterday was! I got a promotion, and my sister's killer was hit by a bus. Now I'm in a cast!
What's the quickest way to go to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
Q: How did Helen Keller get a concussion?
A: She kept stepping on a rake.