Indian jokes

Vegan is actually an old Indian word for "bad hunter."

What do you get when you cross cow DNA with human DNA?

Kicked out of the petting zoo.

I wore a purple outfit to school, and some Indian kid called me Thanos, so I called him Vision and tried pulling the red dot off his head.

One night a guy asked his wife where she wanted to eat. She said, "Chinese food," so he flew her to China. The next night, he asked her what she wanted to eat. She said, "Indian food," so he flew her to India. The last night, he said, "What do you want to eat?" and she said she wanted nothing, so he flew her to Africa.

What do you call an Indian person who is not starving? Dead.

Why do Indians hate snow?

Because it's white and all over their land.

How does an Indian open his car?

"Boot, boot!" (in an Indian accent)

How do you blow up an Indian? Press the red dot in the middle of their forehead!

🤣😂😆😁

What did the roti say to pratha?

You white like a white bastard.

What did the Indian say to the fat man?

"Curry up!"

Your forehead is built like the Indian flag.

Q: What does Pakistan love to do with India when they go to war?

A: Surrender their 93,000 soldiers.

What do you do if you see an Indian woman getting raped? Nothing, since raping is a normal everyday part of Indian culture.

What do u call a pretty Indian girl?

Bomb bae.

When I was younger, I went to an Indian convenience store to pick up a lottery ticket. When the cashier handed me the ticket, she told me to "hold it properly." So I ripped the red dot right off of her forehead.

What do you call Indian dhal that is delicious?

Well, that is DHALicious!

What do you call a strong, independent girl in Haryana?

Dead.

If I ever ran for public office, I'd make Rajan a call center employee again.

An Indian has a seat between two Pakistani's on board an airplane.

It's quite obvious to each of the three men where they are from. The Indian asks, "Pardon me gentleman, you wouldn't mind me sitting between you, do you? This is my seat, after all."

The Pakistanis look at each other, and then look back at him. One of them smiles and says, "Not at all! After all, Pakistanis and Indians are brothers! Are we not?"

The Indian is delighted at how warm and friendly they are, and he takes his seat. Shortly the plane takes off and the three guys are just chilling until the Indian says, "You know it's going to be a long ride and I am getting thirsty. Brothers, can I get any of you like a drink?" Then one of them says, "Yes brother, I would like a Coke!"

The Indian slips off his shoes and walks barefoot to where the stewardess is at, and when the Indian is out of view, one of the Pakistanis spits into his shoe. The Indian comes back and gives him a Coke.

Then the other Pakistani says, "You know what brother? I would also like a Coke too!" The Indian happily obliges, and as soon as he is out of view, he also spits in his shoe before the Indian gives him a Coke.

Finally, the Indian slips on his shoes and suddenly realizes how wet they are. He shakes his head and says, "Brothers! Why must we do this to each other, spitting in each other's shoes and peeing in each other's Cokes?"

What is the craziest thing an Indian man does for sex?

Marriage.