What do cake and baseball have in common?
Both need batters.
What do Philippe Petit and New York citizens have in common?
They both walk(ed) over the Twin Towers.
What do a blonde chick and a turtle both have in common?
When they're on their backs, they're screwed.
What do a 14-year-old pregnant girl and the child inside her have in common?
Both are thinking, “Oh no! My mom’s gonna kill me!”
What does a nearsighted gynaecologist and a puppy have in common?
Wet noses.
What do a blind kid and an orphan have in common?
They can’t see their parents.
What does a pregnant slave and a "pay less" sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
What do nail polish and panties have in common?
Both come off with alcohol.
What do orgasms and impulses have in common?
I don’t care if they have either of them.
What does a paleontologist and woke people have in common?
They both enjoy digging up the past.
What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both got taken out by two jets.
What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
What do alcoholics and gas prices have in common?
They both get really high.
My sister and a basketball got certain things in common.
My sister's tits and ass are bouncy like a basketball.