In common

In common jokes

Girl

What do rocks and girls have in common?

The flat ones get skipped.

Gas

What do alcoholics and gas prices have in common?

They both get really high.

Ninja

What do ninjas and depressed people have in common?

They're always cutting.

Mum

What do me and a blind person have in common after I look at Alfie's mum?

We're both blind.

Sister

My sister and a basketball got certain things in common.

My sister's tits and ass are bouncy like a basketball.

Band

What do Marie Antoinette and 2005-2012 Korn have in common?

They're both Headless.

Royal

What do royals and hot dogs have in common?

They're usually in bread.

Common

What’s something Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger have in common?

Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked.

Weed

What does weed and the Carolina Panthers have in common?

They both get smoked in bowls.

Sex

What does broccoli and sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.

Pig

What do the Twin Towers and Angry Birds' pigs have in common?

They always getting hit.

Twin Towers

What are three things the Twin Towers have in common with my dad? They are big, sexy, and smashed your mom.

Disaster

Twin Towers

What do planes and offices have in common?

They both tend to cross paths at the wake of disaster.

Orphan

Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.

I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.

Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.

Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.

Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.

Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.

If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.

Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.

What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.

Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.

Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.

Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.

Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

Bullet

What do a bullet and a police officer have in common?

When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.

Hunter

What do Jim Kelly and Dick Cheney have in common?

They both make terrible hunters.

Woman

What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?

By the time you're done with the breasts and the thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.

Cancer

What does a kid with cancer and a house fly have in common?

A life expectancy of 15-25 days.

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  • Bird

    What do birds and children have in common?

    If you shoot them, they die.