In common jokes
What do rocks and girls have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
What do alcoholics and gas prices have in common?
They both get really high.
What do ninjas and depressed people have in common?
They're always cutting.
What do me and a blind person have in common after I look at Alfie's mum?
We're both blind.
My sister and a basketball got certain things in common.
My sister's tits and ass are bouncy like a basketball.
What do Marie Antoinette and 2005-2012 Korn have in common?
They're both Headless.
What do royals and hot dogs have in common?
They're usually in bread.
What’s something Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger have in common?
Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked.
What does weed and the Carolina Panthers have in common?
They both get smoked in bowls.
What does broccoli and sex have in common?
If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.
What do the Twin Towers and Angry Birds' pigs have in common?
They always getting hit.
What are three things the Twin Towers have in common with my dad? They are big, sexy, and smashed your mom.
What do planes and offices have in common?
They both tend to cross paths at the wake of disaster.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.
Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.
Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
What do a bullet and a police officer have in common?
When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.
What do Jim Kelly and Dick Cheney have in common?
They both make terrible hunters.
What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?
By the time you're done with the breasts and the thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
What does a kid with cancer and a house fly have in common?
A life expectancy of 15-25 days.
What do Asians and John Cena have in common? You can't see me!
What do birds and children have in common?
If you shoot them, they die.