im so proud of my grandpa, he killed hitler. WAIT-
my husband left a note on the fridge that said, “this isn’t working.” im not sure what hes talking about. i opened the fridge door and it’s working fine? anyone know what he means?
Why did the boy drop his ice cream because he got hit by a truck
knock knock. whos there? Europe. Europe who? no im not a poo your a poo.
im doing something Stephen hawkings cant do.......pressing 'im not a robot'
Roses are red Obama is well spoken im sorry sir but the ice cream machine is broken
hello everybody its me mariplier and today im goin to be balling at freddys
sister. your ugly other sister. im not ypur reflection
ps. sorryif it is not funny
I forgot you cant make depression jokes outside of twitter lmao my coworker was like “you ready for this year to be over?” I was like “im ready for this life to be over” he was like bro what
I hate when people make 911 jokes, im just blown away.
ya make 10 paintings, you arent an artist ya make 20 meals, you arent a chef but when i kill ONE PERSON, im a "horrible person" and a "menace to society"
Guys can we change pride month to another month please my birthday is in june and im mot gay and my friends keep making fun of me i think we should change it to march because my brothers birthday is in march and thatd be funny
son: dad im gay dad: i support you son: i like you dad: get out and into my room
im bored if you want to friend me in roblox my username is Talitha95g and my nickname is talithafromamirica
when the husbon said you is your ass so big she said because im holding my shit
“Im the big man, catching the kids in my big van” - Ben 2021
i not going bungi jumping i was born by broken rubber and thats not how im going out
Im going to do a song thats called Falling by Trevor Daniel... so here it goes
My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything Talk to me, I need to hear you need me like I need ya Fall for me, I wanna know you feel how I feel for you, love Before you, baby, I was numb, drowned out pain by pouring up Speeding fast on the run, never want to get caught up Now you the one that I'm calling Swore that I'd never fall again, don't think I'm just talking I think I might go all in, no exceptions, girl, I need ya Think I'm out of my mind, 'cause I can't get enough Only one that I give my time, 'cause I got eyes for ya Might make an exception for ya, 'cause I been feeling ya Think I might be out of my mind, I think that you're the one My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything I'll never give my all again 'Cause I'm sick of falling down When I open up and give my trust They find a way to break it down Tear me up inside, and you break me down
Im 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedofile. I told him to fuck off this is our 10th anniversary
im alya im a dumb whore who ruins peoples fun on this sight made for jokes with categories for orphan jokes but i like ruining peoples fun
Man: Hey siri! Siri: Yes? Man: Im desperate, will you marry me? Siri: Uh... *phone literally explodes*