Im

Im jokes

I'm treated like God when I'm home, I'm usually ignored until someone wants something.

Why does my dad hate me? Really, please tell me, I'm tired of the constant abuse and pain.

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  • I told my mother I'm a sexy cunt. She said, "No, you got cancer, you twat."

    Damn, DIN just went over me and I'm trying to figure out what it is. A camel's dick.

    Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, "I'm hit! I think I've lost an electron!"

    "Are you sure?" asks the other.

    "I'm positive!"

    "Banjo players spend half their lives tuning... and the other half out of tune."

    I'm a banjo picker, and I can confirm this is 99% true.

    Aaron and Ben meet on Grindr. They have a drink and have sex. They wake up in the morning in bed. Aaron says, "I'm so glad I got it out." Ben replies, "What? Oh, just the HIV."