Im deas inside
A mom and her son are taking a walk when they pass a homeless man fapping, the boy asks "what is that man doing?". The mom says "Making pizza" trying to turn him away.
The son sees a dog fucking another dog and he asks the same thing. She says "Making extra cheese". When they pass a window and see a couple doing it, he asks the same thing. She says "Ordering the pizza".
Later that day the mother says to the father "I think I want some to order some pizza with extra cheese tonight, dont know why that sounds good".
So that night the husband who was watching tv yelled up the stairs "wanna order some pizza !?"
The mother replied "DONT WORRY IM MAKING SOME"
the sons voice followed " IM ADDING EXTRA CHEESE"
im hungry
he: Im nike and you're macdonalds She: why? he: cuz im doing it and you're loving it :)
Kids uncle " your mum said you can have your friends round tonight ! But imma have to baby sit today" . Kid "OK THANK YOU". (AT BED TIME ) Kid " Please may u stop touching my leg BEN!" Ben "im not " (turns light on ) Kid " UCLEEEEE STOP SPILLING MILK OVER ME !!!"
I still to this day remember my grandpa's last words.
"IM ALLERGIC TO FUCKING CATS,!"
You know a big ass what is i told you its fake ass so im lesbo
im the joke bitch
Guys my sisters pregnant!
Im finally a dad!
aunt: on internet buying weight loss pills for 15 dollars neice: i found that show on Netflix that you wanted to watch its 3 dollars to watch aunt: im not paying for that shit neice: yet u sit there and buy weight loss pills
this is a big joke so yeah you cants tell me what to do this joke is funny so laugh ok... now that your done laughing lemme say a joke... get it there was no joke hahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahhaha lololol so funny im ninja
i thought my wife was joking when she said she was gunna leave me because i wouldn’t stop singing “im a believer” but then i saw her face
A retired george w bush is eating a donut 7/11 and looks at it "im so happy i did that' a guy over hears the conversation and says "your happy you bought that donut. Oh haha I would be too i love donuts!" george w bush then says "oh hahaha you caught me" and then says "you must of heard me wrong i said, im so happy i did 9/11"
I'll remember my last words...."SORRY IM NOT SORRY"
Connor: Hi mom Mom: Connor: i forgot im adopted to 2 dads
if an atom makes up everything im still suprised how it made ur mom
I just stepped on a corn flake. Im officially a cearel killer.
ha! it asked me submit a joke but then i realized im the joke
hi im a skeletion and i know a skeleTON of jokes
what did the skeleton say when his girlfriend said "im gonna break your heart" He says "go ahead your not breaking my 206 healthy bones"
