Im jokes

A retired George W. Bush is eating a donut at 7/11 and looks at it. "I'm so happy I did that." A guy overhears the conversation and says, "You're happy you bought that donut? Oh haha, I would be too. I love donuts!" George W. Bush then says, "Oh hahaha, you caught me," and then says, "Oh hahaha, you must have heard me wrong. I said, I'm so happy I did 9/11."

I'll remember my last words... "Sorry, I'm not sorry!"

Connor: Hi Mom.

Mom:

Connor: I forgot I'm adopted to 2 dads!

if an atom makes up everything im still suprised how it made ur mom

I just stepped on a corn flake. I'm officially a cereal killer.

Ha! It asked me to submit a joke, but then I realized I'm the joke.

Hi, I'm a skeleton and I know a skele-TON of jokes!

What did the skeleton say when his girlfriend said, "I'm gonna break your heart?"

He says, "Go ahead, you're not breaking my 206 healthy bones!"

So I'm a cow, guess what my dad thinks of that? He says I'm a loooosmer.

Son: Hey, Dad, why is my name Dick?

Dad: Oh, because a dick fell on you when you were born.

Son: Ohhhhh, so that's why I'm gay.

I'm George Washington. I can't spell "teeth" or "American."

So I made a parody for "Me, Myself, and I." It goes like this: "Me, Myself, and I, I'm gonna drink bleach until I die!"

Hi, I'm stupid!

Bully: Ur Gay.

Me: I'M STRAIGHTER THAN THE LINE IN OSAMA BIN LADIN'S PLAN.

Bully: *runs away and hears crash*

Is your refrigerator running? "Yeah, I guess." Well, you better go catch it! Haha, I'm a girl, it's funny!

"Brandon, tell the teacher that I'm with Ms. Polack."

Hey, Hunger Games... I'm full!!

This ain't your mama's monologue.

I'm bone dry in material, but I have a skeleTON of skeleton jokes. After I tell you all these rib ticklers, you will have a bone to pick with if you didn't find that funny, you outta rip my spine out.

I was submitting this joke, and I realized Stephen Hawking couldn't.

It had the reCAPTCHA "I'm not a robot."

Is your body from McDonald's, because I'm loving it?