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There was a man who had just moved from a foreign country. He just moved into his apartment and was watching his favorite TV shows. The first one was "me-me-me, me-me-me, me-me-me-me-me-me-me," the second one was "forks and knives, forks and knives, all I use is forks and knives," and the last one was "BRING IT ON, FAT MAN!!"

There had been a murder in the area, and the man was walking in the park when a cop showed up and asked him, "Sir, have you seen this man?" and held up a photo. The man said "me-me-me, me-me-me, me-me-me-me-me-me-me." The cop said, "Sir, what did you use?" and the man said "forks and knives, forks and knives, all I use is forks and knives." After that, the cop said, "Sir, I'm going to have to arrest you," and the man said "BRING IT ON, FAT MAN!!" The screen goes black, and all you can here "chk-chk. BANG"

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    • One time in camp, I kissed my bunkmate Bret in the shower. He cupped my breasts and lathered them in Prell, but I'm totally not gay... :)

    Two windmills were standing in a wind farm. One asked, "What's your favorite type of music?" The other one replied... "I'm a big metal fan."

    Sometimes I have this incredible urge to grab a child from school and yell, "I'm you from the future!"

    Friend: I'm gonna go ask out my crush.

    Me: *fake sneezes* Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.

    FRIEND: Hey, want to come to my house?

    LONELY ORPHAN/TRUMP: Want to come to my orphange?

    FRIEND: Dude, I'm blocking you!

    LONELY ORPHAN: :(

    In the new Grinch, the Whos would say he stole Christmas, "Get him!" Then the Grinch said, "I'm an orphan!" That changes everything. The Whos said, "What would they do if Max was an orphan?"

    Man: What's up?

    Me: I'm annoyed.

    Man: Why?

    Me: I stole my gf's heart.

    Man: So why are you annoyed?

    Me: Everyone else in the surgery room gave me weird looks.

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    • I was hitting my hand, and my mom asked me what I was doing. I said I'm beating my meat.

    Why didn't the skeleton go to prom?

    He was dead. You fool. You fell for my trick. I'm very heartless.

    Oh wait.

    You fool!

    Hello, I'm hahaha. What do you call a funny rubber toe?

    Roberto!!~!~!!! AaaaAQAAAHAHAHAA. And like hahaha, what's wrong with airline food? They're not black and they're not people.

    Here are some skeleton jokes.

    You know the average person tries too hard and works himself to the bone.

    If that joke didn't tickle your funny bone, I can give you a real humorous joke.

    I used to play the trumpet, now I play the xylo-bone.

    I'm always happy; nothing gets under my skin.

    I made you some turkey for lunch. Bone appetit!

    I'm glad I had you; I'm no longer bonely.

    I've got a skele-ton of more jokes, but I'm just giving you one more.

    Did you hear about the skeleton ninja? He was very skullful (skillful)!

    The only problem being short and gay is that whenever I try to tell people I'm top in my relationship, they don't believe me because I'm shorter than the person I'm dating, like, WTF?

    I hate it when ever I bring a girl over, my parents don't care, but when I bring one of my friends that's a boy, they're like, "Keep the door open," and I'm gay.