Two windmills were standing in a wind farm. One asked, "What's your favorite type of music?" The other one replied... "I'm a big metal fan."
Sometimes I have this incredible urge to grab a child from school and yell, "I'm you from the future!"
I'm Batman.
Friend: I'm gonna go ask out my crush.
Me: *fake sneezes* Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.
How about that airplane food? I eat it when I'm high.
Who are you?
Oh, I'm an orphan!
Oh... bye! :/
FRIEND: Hey, want to come to my house?
LONELY ORPHAN/TRUMP: Want to come to my orphange?
FRIEND: Dude, I'm blocking you!
LONELY ORPHAN: :(
In the new Grinch, the Whos would say he stole Christmas, "Get him!" Then the Grinch said, "I'm an orphan!" That changes everything. The Whos said, "What would they do if Max was an orphan?"
MOM: Honey, I'm pregnant.
DAD: Hi, Pregnant, I'm Dad.
MOM: No, you're not.
Man: What's up?
Me: I'm annoyed.
Man: Why?
Me: I stole my gf's heart.
Man: So why are you annoyed?
Me: Everyone else in the surgery room gave me weird looks.
I was hitting my hand, and my mom asked me what I was doing. I said I'm beating my meat.
Why didn't the skeleton go to prom?
He was dead. You fool. You fell for my trick. I'm very heartless.
Oh wait.
You fool!
I'm going to piss on the floor.
Read if gay.
Aha!
Hello, I'm hahaha. What do you call a funny rubber toe?
Roberto!!~!~!!! AaaaAQAAAHAHAHAA. And like hahaha, what's wrong with airline food? They're not black and they're not people.
I'm a fat cow.
Here are some skeleton jokes.
You know the average person tries too hard and works himself to the bone.
If that joke didn't tickle your funny bone, I can give you a real humorous joke.
I used to play the trumpet, now I play the xylo-bone.
I'm always happy; nothing gets under my skin.
I made you some turkey for lunch. Bone appetit!
I'm glad I had you; I'm no longer bonely.
I've got a skele-ton of more jokes, but I'm just giving you one more.
Did you hear about the skeleton ninja? He was very skullful (skillful)!
The only problem being short and gay is that whenever I try to tell people I'm top in my relationship, they don't believe me because I'm shorter than the person I'm dating, like, WTF?
I hate it when ever I bring a girl over, my parents don't care, but when I bring one of my friends that's a boy, they're like, "Keep the door open," and I'm gay.
I hate it when people think I'm a boy because I have short hair. I mean, I'm gay, what do you expect?
Seems very long. You won't remember the telephone number...
I remember it like this from school days in Ireland.
Dolly Parton is shopping for a new bra. A lady says, "Your size is 69." Dolly says, "No way, that's too too too (222) big." So she goes to the doctor. "Doc, I need something to make my boobs smaller." "Here, take (51) pills for 6 days (x6)," and so she did. Days later, she ran back to the doc, "Jesus Christ doctor, look what happened. I'm BOOBLESS!" 55378008 upside down.
