Im jokes

What do you call the bell at the Asian restaurant?

I'm ta ping it, some ting won.

I’m a paki nonse.

My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgeon coming in tomorrow. I'm super excited to work with him. The next day, we had to do our first-ever open heart surgery, so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient. We finished the surgery and went outside for a smoke, and we were talking. I said, "Why did you keep the patient's blood on your glove?"

He replied, "We in my free time I test it for anything diseases, HIV." The next day, I got invited to his house, and we had some drinks. I said, "This is amazing red tea. What is in it?" Just the 2000 people you have cut open.

What is the Twin Towers' least favorite song? "I'm Still Standing."

⚠️I’m not racist it’s just a joke⚠️

What do you call four black ppl in a sleeping bag?

A Kit Kat

I'm upset, but when I saw you, you never let me down.

Hey, guys! Just a quick reminder to spread kindness today and treat others how you want to be treated!

Rate your day on a scale of 1-10 in the comments below. Mine was about a 7. Also, can you guys please comment [on] what you guys want me to cover in these little messages? Sometimes it's hard to tell if you guys like that I'm doing this kind of stuff or not.

I saw a fat woman at the bus stop today, so I asked her, "When's it due?"

She replied, "I'm not fucking pregnant, you rude prick!"

I said, "I meant the bus, you fat cunt!"

I’m not religious, but you’re the answer to all of my prayers.

Holy cow!

A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”

“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”

Why did Adele cross the road?

To say hello from the other side.

(Omg omg literally dislike I'm so cringe!)

Is there a racist jokes page here? I’m not racist, I just want to know.

When the North Tower saw the South Tower collapse, he would say, "I'm still standing."

When the South Tower saw the North Tower collapse, he said, "I'm still standing."

What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?

"I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah!" (from Elton John)

My hairline may be straight, but I’m not.

Roses are red, violets are bl-- oh yeah, I'm bad at jokes.

I’m trying to find out what IDK means. Every time I ask someone, they say, "I don’t know."

Yo mama's so poor that when I was walking down the street, I saw her kicking the trash can, and I asked, "What are you doing?" She said, "I'm moving!"

I came across a pic of the oldest man on earth on IG. He was 132 years old.

I commented "age is just a number" for him; now I'm banned.