Im jokes

What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?

Both are lying when they say "I'm a real boy."

(I'm a trans man myself lol)

What did Joe Biden say to the dog? I'm gonna molest you.

Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?

Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.

Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!

Stacy: lol

I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"

Y'all, I'm suspended till Wednesday and can't do much cuz I'm on a tablet, not my computer. Tell autterpop I won't be on till Wednesday or after.

I rate you 9 out of 10, because I'm the 1 you need.

Hey, I’m George, and this is how to figure out if someone is a psychopath.

Go into someone’s search history, and find “Cuphead ship fanfic”.

Hey George, why do you have Russia x America countryhumans?

Yo, everyone! My sis is pregnant, and I’m gonna be a dad!

"I’m coming for you two!"

I'm actually against abortion.

Just go to the car wash and tell 'em you ate too much red pasta!

Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.

In reality, I like killing myself.

So I told the officer, "I can't even walk when I'm sober."

My opinion on abortion is very divided. Like, on the one hand, I like the idea of killing babies, but I'm not really into this thing about women being able to make choices.

This man has been through all kinda shit in his life. So one day, he finally looks at himself in the mirror and says, "If another person looks at me again, I'm going to kill myself." He looks at himself and no one ever heard from him again.

I'm autistic, and I find these so funny.

Why did the white girl come back from Africa?

Because there was no water for her to drink. I'm black.

Expectation: "Brr, I’m cold!" "Here brother! I’ll give you my jacket, I don’t want you to be cold!"

Reality: "Brr, I’m cold!" "Well, damn bro, I can’t control the weather."

They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?

Had an amazing night with this girl, woke up, and it was my aunt. Now I’m in love.

I'm pretty sure that 9/11 was the biggest game of Jenga ever recorded in history.