Im jokes
My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it). I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait... it’s just one.
So, I text my girlfriend and told her I wanted to get inside her. Can you believe she replied: "Not again brother, I'm only 8."
Two kids were beating up a kid in an alley, so I stepped in to help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
I'm in school lol.
You: Find a time clock that can change time.
Your friend the next day: Hey, can I borrow yo' house?
You: No, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my TIME!
Also you: Changes the time back to 1267 so you don't have to have that friend again.
Q: I'm a famous athlete and I've got a lot of fans.
A: Is that why I never see you sweat?
Son: Mom, can I get $100 for a week?
Mom: Why do you need $100 for a week?
Son: I'm going on a date, and I need $100 for a week, please.
Mom: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Go on your date now. You got $1, so go.
Son: And you got $0.00.
A Mexican is drunk and he has a passenger in the car, and the passenger asked, "Where are we going?"
The Mexican says, "I'm not driving, the drunk guy is."
Teacher: "Okay, so how are you going?"
Student: "I'm not going."
Teacher: "Oh, so you're a wheelchair person?"
Sub to Hi, I'm Chiranjay!
What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?
"I'm totally dogging it today..."
So a girl says, "You're so ugly to me," and she says, "I’m the prettiest girl." I say, "Yeah, a pretty girl for an ogre 👹!"
RICK: GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT OH GUESS WHAT MOTHERFUCKER OR IMMA SAY IT!!!!!!
Richard: What????
Rick: So before Donald Trump's impeachment, he said, "The Coronavirus will end on March 32nd 2021."
Richard: Your from planet Earth where there's a March 32nd. Enjoy it, *stupid dumb fuck brother*.
Rick: Oh I will.
*It was the day March 21st*
*9 Days later*
*March 31st*
Rick: oh I cant wait until tomorrow!!!!!!!!!! Ooh im so excited im gonna give my friends a big ole bro hug and hand shake i miss the muhfuckin dudes man
*one day later*
*He got his school uniform waiting for the bus not seeing it*
Rick:....... wai......Huh!?!?...... hol....up
BITCH IM AND IDIOT THERE IS NO MOTHERFUCKING MARCH 32ND THIS IS THE MOTHERFUCKING 1ST OF APRIL TRUMP DUMBASS
*Richard*
*oh he's the dumbass*
Son: Hey, Dad, I'm cold. Can you give me a lift from work?
Dad: Hi Cold, nice to meet you. Sorry, I don't pick up strangers.
Son: I hate you!
Dad/Mom: Son, you're adopted.
Son: I know. *holds up daddy's phone that has the text of them talking about it.*
Dad: Babe, we need to talk.
Mom: Okay......
Dad: He's grounded.
Mom: You're right, you're grounded! Oh, and I'm dumping you.
Son: Am I getting a new daddy?
Mom: Soon honey, soon....
Dad: I really shouldn't have let her know I cheating.
Mom: Son, get up for school.
Son: I AM UP *holds up books and says I'm up* IM UP MOM!
Son: Dad, can I get a girlfriend?
Dad: Son, no, you are only 10, so no.
Son: Dad, I'm leaving to get a girlfriend.
Dad: Son, nooo, you are not my son!
Son: What did you say? *Son slaps the dad.*
Dad: Good, son, goodbye, get out of my home.
Son: Good, you can go move to a new home.
An orphan goes up to someone. The guy says, "Where are your parents?"
The orphan says, "Why do you think I'm wearing ripped pyjamas?"
My chocolate babe is calling my name, and now I'm about to get my chocolate freak on.
Doctor: Hands husband his baby.
Doctor: I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it.
Husband: Then give me the one she made.
Guys, if y'all don't stop making hatred stuff, I'm contacting admin.