If jokes
If you run next to a car, you get tired, but if you run behind it, you get exhausted.
I'll be here all week... sadly enough for you.
If you hate pedophiles, grow up.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a homeless shelter?
You can shit a load inside of a prostitute, but if you try it in a shelter, you get arrested.
🎆 New Year's Eve
Lil Johnny👦: "Every year the same, people always have to start banging before midnight!"
Mom👱🏻♀️: "Johnny, would you please leave the bedroom now?"
Dad👨🏻🦰: "Son, if you don't leave, it'll bang on your head!"
Teacher: Stand up if you think you are stupid.
After a while, a student stands up.
Teacher: So you think you are stupid?
Student: No, I'm not stupid. I just felt bad because you were standing by yourself.
This song is sus, because I’m happy. Clap along if you feel like happiness is the root. What are you clapping?
If Hitler was a comedian, he would use laughing gas.
Why do trans women go by she/her?
Because if they went by her/she, they'd be Hershey's.
Hello! I hope you're having a good day or night! Mind commenting when you laughed the hardest and why? Like if you like this post!
Girl: Hey.
Orphan: Hi.
Girl: Wanna be friends?
Orphan: Sure.
Girl: Ok, and go ask your parents if we can have a sleep over.
Circumcision is like getting your dick sucked by a male. If you did not like it when you were a teenager, you probably will not like it when you become an adult.
Why was the T-rex so angry? You would be angry too if your arms were too short to masturbate.
I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone...
If I smiled one centimeter each time I watched someone I hated die, I'd look like the Cheshire Cat.
If I told you, you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
Top tip; if your wife asks, "What would you like to do to my body?" 'Identify it' is the wrong answer.
if priests were on Twitter, they would tweet, "He's a 10 but he's 10."
What fits neatly into a hole, slides nicely between breasts, and if used wrong could choke someone? A seatbelt.
If I had 10 dino nuggies and Jamal tried to take one, I would have ten dino nuggies and Jamal's head.
If it’s called the “living room,” why did my grandma die there?