If jokes
How does a gay man trick a heterosexual man into giving him a blowjob?
The gay man asks the heterosexual man if he wants to give him a "brojob."
Cashier: "Will you want the milk in a bag today, sir?"
Customer: "I’ll just keep it in the carton if you don’t mind."
I asked a French man if he played videogames, and he said, "Wii!"
Q. If I go 1 on 1 with Harvey Weinstein, I won't get raped?
A. I'm not a 14-year-old girl.
Why are girls and rocks so alike?
If they're flat, they get skipped.
A project manager, a mechanical engineer, and a computer scientist are on a road trip through the mountains. As they're going down a pass, the brakes suddenly fail. The car goes off the road and crashes down into the valley. A bit dazed, the three of them get out.
The project manager says, "Well, the best thing to do is to have a meeting and assess the situation."
The mechanical engineer replies, "Nonsense, I have my pocketknife, I'll fix the brakes with that."
Then the computer scientist comes along and says, "Why make it so complicated? Let's push the car back up the road, get in, and see if it happens again."
How do you know if someone is anorexic? You toss them a onion ring and see if they eat it, or use it as a hula hoop.
I was walking down the street when I saw this dude just vibing. He was telling every guy that walked by if his dick was bigger than theirs, they have to give him 50 bucks.
Long story short, I walked away with 100 bucks that day.
Friend 1: I don't want to jump.
Friend 2: Me neither.
Murderer: If you don't jump, I'll stab you.
Friend 1: *jumps*
Friend 2: *jumps*
Murderer: I didn't mean off the building!
Friend 1: I know that. I just pretended to jump to get rid of that guy.
If anyone's gonna be fuckin' my sister, it's gonna be ME!
I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."
Even if there were no gravity, I would still fall for you...
Even if there was no gravity, I'd still fall for you.
ssundee: "If this video gets to 100k likes, I'll post part 2."
SSUNDEE WIFE: "SHUT THE #### UP!"
An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"
Q: What kind of person has 100% ambition and never gives up if someone gets in their way?
A: A rapist.
If you're ever down one day, just go to the orphanage and bully an orphan because what is he going to do about it? He has no parents.
What do you call a zombie?
Nothing because zombies aren’t real, and if they were, you would be dead.
If you don't like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOU HERE!
If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at? And if they cry, just say, "hey here are your parents" then grab nothing. Perfect example.
So, I met a boy, and he said he would be happy to be a cannibal because if we all were, we could stop overpopulation and world hunger. And I was like 😍😍😍😍🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯