If jokes
Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
Teach a feminist to fish and she will accuse you of patronising her, claim she knew how to do it anyway, and that even if she didn’t, she could easily work it out without the help of a man.
If all your clothes were stolen, what would you go home in?
The dark.
People say that biting off your finger would be as easy as biting a carrot if your brain didn't try to stop you. How the f do people know that and how many people's fingers did they bite off before coming to that conclusion?
If a homeschooled kid kills his parents, is it considered a school shooting?
My teacher: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Me: Demon Slayer.
My teacher: Why?
The quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!
Memes
No one cares if you bully an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Stop it! What if a blind person sa- oh wait, never mind, carry on.
Follow me if you need advice, or just follow me.
If you really think about it, every market in Africa is a black market.
If messyourself was on the Titanic, he would die first.
If you're in Alabama, family reunions are basically speed dating events.
Someone at school asked what makeup I was wearing.
I said, "a smile."
They are now following me around asking if my mental health is okay.
My plan to avoid them is to not go to school.
Going to school is mandatory in this country.
Can you guess my plan?
Why was the T-rex so angry? You would be angry too if your arms were too short to masturbate.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
One if you throw it hard enough.
What happens if a cookie turns emo?
It becomes a cookie cutter.
Last Halloween, I went dressed as a woman. When I rang the doorbell, an elderly woman opened it, and I made a grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands.
She immediately called the police and told them exactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First, he asked if my parents were here, and I said nothing. Concerned by my answer, he then asked if I was okay, so I said nothing. He asked me what my name was, and I responded, "Hellen Keller."
Like if you love food!
Mother, “Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, you’ll get kids who will be very naughty to you!”
Johnny, “Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, didn’t you?”
If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.