If jokes

If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, girls would find me attractive.

Did you know penguins can actually fly if thrown hard enough... Just like children.

Using modern day technology you can produce music with a Tesla coil. I don't know if you heard it, but it is quite shocking and even electrifying. I can't tell if it is metal or techno, but it is more valuable than joules. It really amps up your blood pressure and has you saying watt the whole time. It is way better than current music.

Kobe would still be alive if he would have gone to jail for raping that girl.

Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last long if you're fat.

I wonder if the sun is going to rise every morning. Then it dawns on me.

How many gay guys can you fit on a barstool? 4... if you turn it upside down.

I asked a black man on the street if a white person paints their face black, it’s considered racist, but if a black person paints their face white, will the cops treat them better?

If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?

It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.

If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?

Dagger. This is to get your attention, for Dagger Jr. and I. We'd like to speak with you, and possibly Lynx, if we can find a time to all talk.

If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?

Non-profit wh*reganisation.

Did you know that people say Michael Jackson only became a pedophile when he was white?

Lucky for him, if he was black he would have been found guilty.

If a stork brings white babies, and a blackbird black babies, what bird brings no babies?

A swallow.

Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.

If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.

There are only 2 genders: if you have a dick, or a pussy.

How do you know if there's a vegan in the room?

Wait 2 minutes and they'll tell you.

A dad tells his son, "Stop masturbating! If you do it too long, you will go blind."

The son replied, "Dad, I'm over here!"

If I was any more inbred, I'd be a sandwich.