If jokes

What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?

If you want a female prostitute to be a carpet muncher, you have to give her money.

Once, asked if I played Scrabble, being dyslexic, I asked if it was the standard version or the deluxe dyslexic version.

If George Floyd was in the new little mermaid: Under da knee Under da knee Counterfeit 20 Drugs i took plenty Now i can’t breathe

If I measured your forehead, it would be 100,000,000,000,000,000 miles long.

If you measured your hairline with a protractor, it would show 90 degrees.

If your hairline was a river, it would meander left, right, and backwards.

Zis iz za best joke in za west: exsepz if zu put ketup in shawarma itz yo mama!

Went home with a woman last night. I was greeted at the door by a Mongrel.

I say Mongrel, it was her Down syndrome son trying to process if I was a stranger or not.

Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.

Why is bungee jumping similar to a condom?

Because if the rubber snaps, you're fucked.

How do you know if a rapper is lying?

His rhymes don't add up.

If stupidity was a superpower, BLESSEDBRIAN would be a MARVEL CHARACTER.

If brains were taxed, Slade would get a rebate.

If stupidity was a superpower, BlessedBrian would be UNSTOPPABLE!

If I agreed with Leo, then that wouldn’t solve anything. It would just make BOTH of us dumb.

If laughter is contagious, Kris's jokes are immunity.

I may not be your cup of tea, but I am definitely your 10th shot of tequila.

I asked Daveon if he ever considered trying something new, and he replied "why fix what ain't broke?"

A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

And the women look at him as if they have never seen a man walk into a bar before.

If the shoe doesn't fit, there's no evidence.