If jokes

I asked Daveon if he ever considered trying something new, and he replied "why fix what ain't broke?"

I'd make a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't fly anymore.

And if I tried it, it would probably crash and burn.

It just wouldn't help my comedy career take off.

If a dog is white with black spots, then it is 90% great and 10% guilty because it half way starts crimes and is a mistake to the world and is punished by the white dogs that are full white and not mixed colors.

If you guys wanted to see a joke, just look in the mirror.

I bet Steven Hawking $100 if he could catch me.

As soon as he said yes, I climbed up the stairs.

If she's not ready for an X-rated movie, she's not ready for this X-rated booty.

Went home with a woman last night. I was greeted at the door by a Mongrel.

I say Mongrel, it was her Down syndrome son trying to process if I was a stranger or not.

If y'all gotta crush on me, tell me now before my dad spends my Valentine's money on crack and alcohol.

I'm sure you could be the smartest person in your class.

If it were a class for the profoundly retarded.

I'm not saying you're annoying.

But if a yeast infection were a person, it would be you.

If you got a bowling ball and you stuck it on top of a sack of potatoes, what would you get?

A "retiree."

You can tell if a woman is angry if she is holding a gun.

If I wanted to hear beeping, I wouldn’t have pulled my grandma’s cord to live.

Like if you think Joel was a hero for saving Ellie instead of saving the world.

What do you say if you want to borrow your black sister's foundation? "Got any lighter shades?"

Your hairline couldn't be seen even if it was glowing.

If you measured your hairline with a protractor, it would show 90 degrees.

If your hairline was a river, it would meander left, right, and backwards.

If a person with Down syndrome robs you, what do you say? “I’m up your Down.”

Zis iz za best joke in za west: exsepz if zu put ketup in shawarma itz yo mama!