If jokes
If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet.
Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?
Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.
Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!
Stacy: lol
If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?
Idaho... Alaska!
Yo mama so fat if she turned into food, she could solve world hunger.
If you don't have big Nyash,
Lower your voice while talking to me, you Mau Mau warrior. 😂😂😂
Memes
My boyfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of his Honda Civic, but I refused. If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.
My science teacher was talking about natural selection.
At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.
If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."
If blind people could play go-kart, it very quickly turns into bumper cars.
"This is the dude who assassinated JFK."
"If you got a question, just shoot!"
You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?
Stalin asked Hitler if he wants to hear a joke.
Hitler says, “Yes.”
Stalin then says, “Moscow.” Hitler replies with “I don’t get it?”
Stalin laughs for a long time and says, “And you never will.”
What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?
If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?
If you want a female prostitute to be a carpet muncher, you have to give her money.
Once, asked if I played Scrabble, being dyslexic, I asked if it was the standard version or the deluxe dyslexic version.
If I measured your forehead, it would be 100,000,000,000,000,000 miles long.
If you measured your hairline with a protractor, it would show 90 degrees.
If your hairline was a river, it would meander left, right, and backwards.
Zis iz za best joke in za west: exsepz if zu put ketup in shawarma itz yo mama!
Went home with a woman last night. I was greeted at the door by a Mongrel.
I say Mongrel, it was her Down syndrome son trying to process if I was a stranger or not.
Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.