If jokes

My Mom said she's going to kill me if I don't stop using my computer.

Like if you think Joel was a hero for saving Ellie instead of saving the world.

What do you say if you want to borrow your black sister's foundation? "Got any lighter shades?"

Your hairline couldn't be seen even if it was glowing.

Sonic says if you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

If you combine math and meth, you will become Einstein White.

My girlfriend is so stupid, she asked me if I wanted to shower with her to save money on our water bill, while we were staying at a hotel where we didn't even have to pay the water bill.

If a person with Down syndrome robs you, what do you say? “I’m up your Down.”

If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet.

Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?

Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.

Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!

Stacy: lol

If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?

Idaho... Alaska!

Yo mama so fat if she turned into food, she could solve world hunger.

If you don't have big Nyash,

Lower your voice while talking to me, you Mau Mau warrior. 😂😂😂

My boyfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of his Honda Civic, but I refused. If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.

My science teacher was talking about natural selection.

At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.

If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."

If blind people could play go-kart, it very quickly turns into bumper cars.

"This is the dude who assassinated JFK."

"If you got a question, just shoot!"

You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?

Stalin asked Hitler if he wants to hear a joke.

Hitler says, “Yes.”

Stalin then says, “Moscow.” Hitler replies with “I don’t get it?”

Stalin laughs for a long time and says, “And you never will.”

What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?

If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.