If jokes

My parents used to make me and my siblings apologize to the ground when we stomped.

If I had done "it," I would have gotten SO many apologies.

Listen, if my mom sees me on Roblox at 3 a.m., she said she would bang my head against the keyboardndfndfnnckvnksdvknkdsfnvbfw.

If you were a fruit, you would be a fineapple.

If you were a vegetable, I would visit you in the hospital.

If boys are like sports because they are easy to play, then girls are like a sandwich. They are nice at first, but they're crusty after.

Opinions are like orgasms. The only one that matters is mine and I don't care if you have one.

If you're looking at this, then look behind you!

If there was a zombie apocalypse, girls would make a "forehead apocalypse" since it is so big.

My mom said that being straight is good, but if you're straight, how do you walk? So I decided to be gay.

What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?

Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.

Random Kid: Aye man where was Kobe flying to?

Launch Site: Umm, he might have gone too close to here, sorry if he might have crashed...

Do they say you are what you eat?

That makes Bulma a VEGETARIAN if u know what I'm SAIYAN.

Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"

And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. You can't, can you?"

You’re looking pretty rough this evening. You look like if sweatpants were a person.

If you look up the word "wheelchair" in a dictionary, you will see a picture of Stephen Hawking.

Luca’s Mom and Dad be throwing the kids into the fountain in the city, but they're sea monsters, so if they went to jail for that, they would be on death row anyway. 🤣

When a 68 year old teacher says: "I am going to tackle an intruder if I have to!"

Me: "Oh hell nah"

It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.

What animal howls at the moon and eats cement?

If you guessed wolf, you're right! I threw in the cement to make it hard.

If Stephen Hawking was a boxer, he would roll with the punches.

If Carlsberg did wheelchairs...