If jokes

Like if you know someone is emo and comment "emo🇷🇺."

Guys, if you saw a post from someone pretending to be me, don't listen to them.

I'm just going to be out for 3 days, or maybe for a month break. There are a lot of fakers.

If you punch an orphan, they can't do anything; they can't tell their parents.

If you need help, you will need trash, 'cause you the trash.

My bf: Knock knock.

Me: Who's there?

My bf: Ice cream.

Me: Ice cream who?

My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!

If you were to ask me, "Where would be the worst place to commit a crime?" I would say a multi-storey car park, because if you think about it, it would be wrong on so many levels.

Yo mama so fat, if she buys a fur coat, the WHOLE SPECIES will become extinct!

Orphans are human too! They have parents like all of us, so I don't know why they're saying it's fun to make fun of an orphan. Have you ever been too cold and wondered if your parents are going to have another child and not you? That's not funny! It is %9000,000 NO!!!!!!!!!!

What do you get when you cross an atheist an insomniac?

Someone who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.

Because all I do is pound it, man. I would put you on my "600 Pound Life" if you didn't weigh 1,000.

If you are a banana, why don't you eat a banana?

Oh right, you'd be a cannibal. I mean a banan-i-ball.

If you're ever bored, just slap an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

When the phone is ringing, Dad says, "If it's for me, don't answer it."

Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably shit.

I asked my girlfriend if she was a smoke alarm. She said, "Is it because I warned him when hotness came?" I said, "No, you don’t shut up!"

If you are on here, don’t hate. There will be rude ones, but it doesn’t matter.

If an orphan were to get a takeaway, what’s the home address?

What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady, but no one knew because he couldn't stand up?

Roses are red, Kevin Spacey is gay,

If you'd stayed with your parents, I wouldn't have taken you away.

A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."

"Interesting."

"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.